He broke up with me because he said I didn’t have my sh*t together and that I was holding him back. I’m 21, I’m not driving on my own yet and I don’t have the money to finish my degree. However, he is 20 and his parents have always provided everything. They bought his car, pay the insurance, frequently pay for his meals when they go to eat and he lives off of allowance instead of a job.
I understand there are things in my life I need to straighten up but he knew this already. He knew why I didn’t really have anyone to help me learn how to drive and didn’t have a car to do it or the money. We were together for over a year and I believed he was really there for me. He was my emotional support and seemed to understand and still love me for my shortcomings. He even gave me driving lessons but eventually he said he couldn’t wait on me anymore.
He is going to school to become a teacher and is very serious about getting a college education. I also want to finish my degree but I wouldn’t be stopping him from completing school. I have goals and I know what I want in life.
I made an effort. I decided to join the air force reserves to help pay for school and started another job. I worked more with his time whenever we hung out even though he still didn’t have a job. I soon decided to become active duty seeing that it would benefit me a lot more, I wouldn’t be working a retail job anymore and would be able to earn money for a car.
When I asked how he felt about my decision, his response was “ I only want to see you do well” I figured I had his support and he was happy for me but a few weeks later before we broke up he said he wasn’t going to wait for me to get my sh*t together then wait for me while I’m active duty. He wanted a woman he didn’t have to take care of…. He never took care of me. All I ever asked from him was to be taken to the DMV so I could get my license and not be a burden on him anymore. He seemed happy to do it.
He came up with other reasons like he was always making plans, although he would constantly ask me what to do. We don’t live in a big city and don’t have much money to spend. Our only option was his parent’s house which I didn’t care for. Also that he was always driving me around but we were together two days out of a week and if I asked to stop somewhere it was on the way to our destination when we really had nothing to do . I would never have asked him to go out of his way to take me to the other side of town or anything like that. He never said no to it so I didn’t know it bothered him.
All of this really comes down to him wanting someone independent I guess but I’m in my early twenties and I don’t have it all figured out yet. I think it's hurtful that he expected so much from me even though we’ve barely begun our lives yet. I want to progress in my life but no one is perfect. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is he right about me? How should I look at this?
Would he take me back after I have made clear positive changes
Most Helpful Guy
He sounds ike he can'[t handle the realitiesof life,since he's been protected from them. He doesn't understand how you are more or less forced into jioning the Air Force to get through yur education and gain some financial independence! Instead of being willing to helpyou with driving, he thought you were too dependent on him.
It sounds like hs' getting parental pressure to find a girl friend who is financially as well off as he and his parents are; I'd suspect he's being manipulated by them to some degree.
At l;east he realized you weren't compatible, and broke up in a reasonably non-traumatic way..
You are free now, enjoy that and don't spend time looking back.