I feel sick to my stomach right now... My ex and I dated for a year and four months. Our relationship was almost perfect, with little to no arguments. But one night we got into a fight. I tried not to let it escalate but he kept getting angrier. He was telling me how I needed to put more effort in the relationship (even though I did more than him) and saying that I thought I was so much better than him. When I realized there was no way to calm him down, I quietly asked if he wanted to break up with me. He said yes and it was over. My heart felt torn to pieces. I messaged him the next day asking how he was doing, and mentioning how hard this was for me. He then told me that he was just fine and didn't feel sad at all walking away from the relationship. That shattered my heart even more of course... I finally decided I wouldn't contact him anymore. Last week though, I checked his fb profile briefly on my sister's account only to find him seemingly to be with another girl. And now last night he finally messaged me after two months. I was cordial, and we made small talk for a little bit. He apologized for the way things ended. Not wanting to seem so eager to talk to him, I ended the conversation fairly quick. But now I can't stop thinking about him... My question is, what does him messaging me again mean? And what should I do about it? Thanks.
Most Helpful Guy
It's a shame young men don't learn relationship skills from their mothers like they learn things from their fathers. I think Marty is right when he says he probably wanted to pursue someone else but now that he's done that, he's remembering how good it was with you.
His rough breakup with you was out of ignorance in how to handle a mature relationship, I've seen so many young girls and guys treat the other like crap until they finally build up the nerve to admit what their real agenda is. You cut it short by asking the question that he was afraid to say - that speaks well of your maturity - you could see what he was striving for.
As far as getting back with this guy, I think he probably has a few more years to go before he is fit to be in a serious relationship. He was descent enough to at least end things with you before he started with her (I hope) but he still has a lot to learn about caring for another person. Perhaps maintain a friendship with him - not an FWB - and perhaps after a couple of years he might grow up a bit. I would however recommend you date around quite a bit in the interim. Go on lots of dates with a lot of guys, never date the same guy more than once consecutively, and get a feel for what you really like. Perhaps your old Boyfriend will look better or maybe you'll see that he really wasn't what you needed after all.
You sound like a really sweet girl and I wish you the best of luck.2