Ladies how do we get you back during a "break"?

I know the "go-to" answer is going to be, it's over. But I'd like to see under what circumstances some of you girls would have gone back to your guy while you were taking a break.

Reason for the break: Wants to rethink the relationship and see if she wants to stay with me or not. She's stressed beyond belief right now as well.

Would you have wanted your guy to give you space? Contact you during the day, at night, to check up, anything else?

Or does "break" just mean "we're going to break up and there's nothing you can do"


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hm. Well the 'reason for break' sounds typical, but honestly it's pretty vague (probably on purpose if that's all she told you).

    What you should do/not do is ENTIRELY dependent on what her real reason for the break.

    The bottom line is, her interest level is below 50%. It's hard to fix a relationship once it starts tearing. You still have a chance though, because you didn't actually break up yet.

    A) Is she interested in someone else?

    B) Is she bored with you?

    C) Is she angry with you?

    D) Has she concluded that your life goals are becoming increasingly different?

    E) Did she maintain relationships with her own friends while dating you or did she feel isolated?

    F) Did she recently move or change her lifestyle in some major way?

    G) Did you offend her in some way?

    If she's angry, offended, interested in someone else, or concerned about life goals: you should contact her and tell her you want to clear things up now (or else you want to break up in the case of her being interested in someone else).

    If she's bored, felt isolated, or doesn't admire you any more: give her space, get your life together, and let her figure out what she wants.

    Hope that helps! Good luck :)

    • Hard to tell but let me try to answer those.

      A. Guys have asked her out, she's told me and mentioned she doesn't like them in any way

      B. Not sure, she's the one who never has time to go out

      C. She was, but we talked about it and she said she was over the issue

      D. She does ask me about my future quite a bit, but knows I am serious about it

      E. She did, she was never isolated and I never pressured her to choose me over someone else

      F. No

    • G. I believe I may have. She never said anything but she hinted that I disrespected her, we talked about it though.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Red flag

  • give her space, let her come to you, but let her know you are not bitter or mad.

  • offer to cook her a special meal with flowers and candle light

  • my daughter went on a break with her boyfriend because he was clingy and overly emotional about their relationship...constantly asking if she was bored with him if she thought he was good enough will she leave him like his ex did...he was just a mess. She took a break because she wasn't sure she wanted to leave him she really wanted it to work but she just lost attraction for him because of his behavior and needed to reassess what she wanted and in the end she did end it.

    • I sure hope your daughter wasn't playing your boyfriend by testing the waters with other guys while on that break

    • no it was nothing like that...she's still single after a month break and a month and a half broken up. She said she was happy to just be single for awhile she's had a boyfriend of some kind almost solid for a couple of years.

What Guys Said 2

  • Now the reason I say this relationship is doomed, is because the terms of this "break" weren't discussed in detail.

    Imo she used the term "break" out of her immaturity and running away from the relationship instead of discussing her feelings like an adult (presuming this girl is over 18). If she were mature enough she'd take the time to discuss the terms of the break (can you see other people or not, kiss and/or be sexual with other people or not, how often and what mediums to contact, etc.)

    This is the reason why most people say when a "break" occurs it's simply the easing into a breakup.


    Now in this case, since the break happens without you asking those IMPORTANT questions about contact and your "availability to other girls" during the break (now you know better for next time and you'll ask this stuff!),

    I would contact her, and ask:

    1) how she's feeling

    2) how often to contact during this break

    3) are you "allowed", and is she "open", to dating, kissing, and/or being sexual with other ppl


    These are important because you don't want to get left hanging and played, thinking she's coming back, when she's open to dating, kissing, and being sexual with other ppl.

    Always presume the person is NOT monogamous by default; since this is an "unknown" about her "status", presume she's at least open to seeing other ppl.

    Most importantly, DO NOT accept any wishy-washy or open-ended answers from here. In a friendly and compassionate way, demand these facts from her, out of respect for your own feelings.


    I know it sounds "aggressive" and "intense" to have this approach, but frankly this unknown bullsh*t is unfair to you!

    Too many guys fall for this "break" nonsense, and end up putting themselves on layaway for the girl, while the girl is testing the waters for other people.

    Don't be that guy! Demand answers (in a friendly comassionate way) to make sure YOUR feelings are respected.

  • Ignore them. It's all a big game to them. They want us to chase them and stalk what they're doing on Facebook and send them text messages about missing them. Instead if you just ignore them all-together, they have nothing to complain about and are just left to question what you're doing.

    • Countless times when I (for various reasons) stopped contacting a girl, she reached out to me in a flirtatious way.

      The female mind, well, female emotions (the female mind frankly dones't churn much in these situations!) is something else.

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