Until 4 days ago, I have been in a relationship with a man I thought I was in for the long haul with (nearly 2 years so far). We've barely argued, and all our time spent together felt magical. The last thing I had been expecting was for any doubts to be raised at all. He has just told me that he is really stressed and worried about his future as he has just finished uni, and is struggling to find a job, and that he is experiencing my desire and excitement about our future as pressure. He said he wants to go on a break for up to a month, that he hates even calling it a break because he's 90% sure about wanting to get back together. He says he misses me, can't live without me and is broken by gambling with us, but needs to be alone for a few weeks and it's nothing personal. I have told him so many times that if he is trying to soften the blow that this uncertainty is worse than a break up, and to just break up with me would be kinder. He says that's not what he wants. Could this really just be a bit of a struggle he needs to deal with alone? Or should I tell him I refuse to wait and move on?
Most Helpful Girl
I'm going through the same exact thing... How I've been handling it:
1. Letting him initiate all communication. He was the one who needed space...
2. Let him know your feelings about it... that he's hurting you etc.
3. Try to be positive whenever he does contact you to make it seem like you are OK with living your live without him, and also so he can associate good positive feelings with you.
4. Don't pressure him with when you are going to get back together... just go with the flow and let it evolve naturally. (I'm struggling with this one).
The only difference is that my boyfriend actually broke up with me so he wouldn't have the mental 'demands' of a relationship. He says for me not to read into as much and it's not about me or us because we are fine and will get back together. He just jumped into another relationship too quickly after his last one (of 5 years ended) and needs time to heal from that, plus work stress wasn't helping at all.
I would do some soul searching so you can possibly try to pinpoint the reason why you think he needs some space and try to remedy it. Good luck! :)0