Why am I still in this relationship?

it all started when we met online

then we moved in together 3 months later because HE wanted too

he got drunk and was super mean to me calling me names

after that he got very violent we were living in the 3rd floor of his house I moved in with all my nice new furniture a dresser night stand and book shelf every time he got mad he would break them

he would punch me in the head beat me with a stick den we moved to the 2nd flloor he proceded to be violent slapped me hard

as I sat on the bed he would just get mad and pour juice all over me and spit on me

he broke all the furniture I moved in with I cureently use broken dressers and plastic drawers to keep my things

i got a cute vanity desk and now he cracked the mirror it came with

my hair straightner he broke it he broke all my things

hes the reason I can't have anything

i have tried to leave to him but before he was 17 and would threaten me now he's 18 and I'm 21 and he doesn't break stuff anymore or beat me

but he throws food on the bed if I don't seem to enjoy it he gets mad when I have to sleep he always has an attitude with me ALL the time

im scared because we now live on the 1st floor because all the rooms we stayed in got holes in the walls the doors are broken

i miss being happy I feel trapped

he says he loves me all the time and begs me to stay

he gets mad when I try to leave

i can't hang out with my friends all my time is counted for

if I don't come home at a certain time he will call me 1000 times repeatly I feel like all my goals and everything I wanted to be is gone he won't encourage me to do anything I just work he doesn't he sits at home and waits for me he wants to do everything together

how did I get to this point ? why does he say he loves me but I don't see it... ps I forgot to include this I bought myself a car and he jumped on it and messed up my hood really bad because I tried to leave him

i don't know what to do anymore ...
theres so much more to this story but eventually I will try my best and make my life right

this is the worse I've gone through and I know there's still hope it can get better .. I just have to hang on and wish for it ..

if he continues to do this to me I will leave him people can only take so much and I've taken enough


Most Helpful Guy

  • He has mental issues, leave ASAP. Leave all your broken sh*t there if you have to. But I'd just leave and never come back and never contact him again. The only reason you seem to be staying is because of fear. If that's the reason, then you need to conquer that fear by taking measures to keep it down. Surround yourself with your friends ( preferably some guy friends ) and if it comes down to it, the cops. But one thing is for sure, get the f*** out...You're the only one who can make yourself happy with the decisions you make in life. You only have one life to live, are you sure you want to spend it like this? Also, it wouldn't surprise me if that one life would be shortened by this guy of yours...

    • on update: "if he continues to do this to me I will leave him people can only take so much and I've taken enough". You're saying yourself: "you've taken enough". So why do you INSIST on continuing this relationship? It's a not a question of IF he continues at this point, but WHEN he'll do it again...Smarten up and move on woman.

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What Guys Said 5

  • i don't know you and him could always try councelling or sitting down with a neutral person to try and discuss what's right and what's wrong about this relationship . if your going to stay with him maybe make it clear to him the things you don't like him doing and that if he keeps doing them your going to have to leave

  • The title says it all. Why are you still in this relationship? It's not going to get better. No matter how often he says he loves you he still isn't treating you with love. If he hits you call the police! If he destroys your personal property call the police! Get out before something even worse happens!

  • Please tell me you are kidding...

    If not then you need to GET THE F*** OUT OF THERE NOW, and move back home. And if you have any bruises you need to CALL THE POLICE. Finally you need to GET A RESTRAINING ORDER!

  • Nope, I can't help you, time for the battered women hotline! <3

    • im not battered I just deal with a lot of bs

    • I lol'd. So this dude beat you and purposefully destroyed your property then stopped beating you and emotionally abuses you and you're not battered. So what are you? Because that sounds kind of like ...

  • It's because you like drama.


What Girls Said 3

  • You need to leave him ASAP. Find a time when he won't be around to stop you and call a friend (even if they aren't close to you anymore they'd be sensitive in this situation and help you out) and go to there house and call the police because he needs to be arrested. Or just don't go home and go to someone's house and call the police. Him calling you 1000x is way better than him hitting you 1000x. Turn your phone off and use someone else's to call the police. You really need to get out of there before he kills you. Don't try to bring anything, things can be replaced and it will only slow you down.

  • Someone who hits you and destroys your things does not love you. They just love controlling you and making you do things that you don't want to do, because it makes them feel powerful.

    You need to leave, report him to the police and get a restraining order. If you have any bruises on your body, you can use them as evidence to get him thrown in jail.

    Then you need to seek counseling and support of friends and family because that will help you heal and recover your self-esteem and dignity. Good-luck and take care.

  • You're in denial. it doens't matter how "much more there to this story". Your story is not unique. You're another statistic amongst the many number of battered women in this world Even if you try to convince us that he's a nice guy 98% of the time and only a crazy woman beating violent maniac 2% of the time. That 2% is still enough reason to leave him. Cause one day that 2% could kill you.

    Stop making excuses for him and get out. Nothing is worth the emotional, mental and physical losses you sustain during the abuse.


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