What would you do!? Boyfriend and his ex.

I've been seeing this guy for about six months. We started talking about a month after his ex girlfriend (of four years) left him for another guy. Needless to say, her plans of leaving him for someone else fell through, and now she is single. Also, she had cheated on him with three other guys while they were still together earlier in 2012.

A few months back I found some texts from him to her that were very flirty, I was really hurt by what I had seen, which included him saying that it was weird for him to be with someone else and complimenting her "rack". We talked about it and he told me that he wants nothing to do with her and it's all me now, and so on.

I've told him that it makes me uncomfortable for him to talk to his ex girlfriend everyday. He says he doesn't, but I see him. Her name pops up on his phone. Every. Day. Infact, they do all of these favors for one another. Such as him borrowing her car, and him watching her dogs for an entire week to him buying her gas.

He wants me to hang out with his friends more, but since his exs friends are mutual, she's always there too. I don't understand why he can't see why it makes me so uncomfortable for me to hang out with his friends that I hardly know and his ex girlfriend who manipulated him for nearly a year. He just thinks that I'm being difficult!

Seeing him talk to her all the time has made it extremely difficult for me to like him as much as I would like to. It even makes me feel conscious about myself, like I'm not good enough, and that's why he's keeping her around. He claims that he is her friend and whatever, but how is it normal for a guy to want to be friends with his ex who cheated on him multiple times and kept leading him around for months, and even went as far as to ask for a promise ring? She is not a friend! friends don't do that! And he shouldn't want anything to do with someone who would do something like that to someone who they claimed "they loved'. So what would you do? Would you be suspicious about their actual relationship? Would you cut it off with the guy, because obviously he still has feelings for her. Just looking for some advice.

Also, I've told him all of this, and not just once.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The way I see it, you have 2 choices. 1- you can accept that this girl is going to be in his life to the extent that he is comfortable with it- no matter how you feel about it. Or 2- you can call it good and leave them to each other.

    This setup would not work for me. You may feel differently, I don't know. But meditate on it for a minute and make your choice. Either way you choose, understand that it is YOUR choice and then embrace it. You can't change his behavior and you can't change hers. You can only change yours- you are the only person you get to be the boss of (until you have a child, and even then it's pretty fleeting.). It sucks, but there you go.

    I know what I would do- and in fact have done- when I was in a situation similar. I did what was best for me, and I have not regretted it. Good luck.

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What Guys Said 1

  • He needs to be let go. He is incapable right now of holding another relationship.

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What Girls Said 2

  • get rid of this guy he can't let his past go , your risking him cheating on you with his ex, I don't know why some people can't part from there exs, exs see the exit in my life, I don't want no more to do with you .

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  • You are right to feel and think everything you do..I would not continue with someone who is clearly (in his mind) not over his betrayor..he has not gotten over her and continues being friends with his perpertrator..u will end up hurt as he will if he hasn't already,get sexually involved with her again,he likes toxic behavior apparently, but you need to get far away from him

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