My ex an I broke up a few months ago. His exact word were "maybe I'm not ready for a relationship". I accepted it and was keeping busy in my life. Until earlier this month , I caved in and asked if he wanted to hang out , he said he would be busy and "maybe sometime after that". He usually sounds rude even when he's not trying to sound rude so I didn't think he was brushing me off. Then again today I messaged him askin when next month would work since I will be traveling and after a few messages here and there he said he was "seeing someone at the moment and it would be inappropriate if we met" ... HOW ? When? We haven't had contact only since March/Aprilish. How has he moved on? Why her if he isn't ready for comittment? I am hurt and upset. I wasn't trying to get him back but I didn't think he would of moved on this quick after being together for nearly 3 years! I guess this is a blow to my ego :'(
How does someone who's not ready to comitt move on this quick?
Most Helpful Guy
Remember, even though you were together for 3 years, does not change the fact that you have already broken up with him and that he has moved on. But the fact that you have been in a relationship with so long is likely to make you more outraged and hurt, than if you had been with him for a shorter amount of time. It makes sense that you would feel hurt, because it makes you feel sad when you think of him with another woman, who isn't you. Likely, it doesn't help that you remember the good times you spent with him, and that makes you miss the past and have wishful thinking. Just remember though. It's his choice if he wants to move on, and you can't force him to love you.
He said "maybe I'm not ready to settle down" because he was hurt at the time, and that's all he had to say. Usually, when people are hurt, they don't always have a clear mind. They don't always say what they mean. But that doesn't sound like a rational reason to break up, because relationships can always be improved. The only reason I can think of, for why he would say that, is if you were seeking marriage, and he wasn't.
So remember, he is seeing someone at the moment, and for him to meet you, an ex, would make him feel awkward, since he is currently in a relationship. That's why he doesn't want to meet you. It is also likely that he thinks that the reason you want to meet him is because you want to date him again. So it sounds like he's trying to let you know that he's already in a relationship because he thinks you're trying to rekindle that relationship.
Finally, know that not everyone is the same. He is seeing someone else at the moment and it's not you. If you and his current girlfriend's roles were reversed, how would you react if she said the exact same thing "Why her and not me?" We can't always be with the people who we wish to be with. He's with her now, and it may be temporary, or it may not be. The point is, that he is already in a relationship, and although you feel sad and hurt, he's going to view hanging out with you difficult, if not impossible (even if he did take it the wrong way). That closeness that he used to share with you might make it impossible for him to be around you without making him feel awkward. How would you feel if a boyfriend hung out with his ex?0
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