My boyfriend wants to break up with me because I deserve better...What?

Hi, he told me he wants to break up with me because I deserve better because right now his life is screwed up and he doesn't know what he is doing with it. He says that he doesn't want a relationship right now, but he still loves me. I convinced him that since this came out of the blue we should go on a break for two weeks. He agreed but warned me not to get my hopes up. I honestly do not know what to do, I love him too and I'm not sure how I am going to handle this.

Advice please!
Updates:
We have been dating for a year and three months if that helps, so this is not a fledgling relationship.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Something obviously happened here. Usually stuff like this doesn't come out of the blue. Has his behavior changed recently? Did something happen in his family? I went through this and it was painful. I found out later that he just wasn't feeling the spark anymore and there was a ton of issues at home.

    Best thing to do is to give him a lot of space. Don't talk to him. Ask your friends to keep you occupied and give them your phone/ change your Facebook password/ whatever it is you need to do. Try to be independent and move on the best you can.

    It really really sucks and is SO painful. I feel for you and wish you weren't going through this. Please don't hate me for saying this because I hated it every time when it was said to me, but if it is meant to be, he'll come back to you.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Im sorry to say that he has made his decision and you can't stop that.

    Let him go and let him solve his problems. When a guy says he wants to be left alone, we all mean it. We want to solve our problems without our SO being there for us.

    Cross your fingers, wish and pray that he will find strength to gather himself in these 2 weeks. If he does, he will come back to you. If he doesn't...move on.

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  • I've heard this line before...he probably has some deeply rooted insecurity problems that will make a relationship with him more of a hassle than you can anticipate.

    P.S. If you're going to go on a "break", you MUST MUST MUST discuss the terms with him (as in if you can pursue/kiss/be sexual with other people or not during the break, and how often to contact each other).

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    • Yeah we did, no contact, no other people. I didn't want to be like Ross and Rachel on Friends...lol

      It's only been 3 days and it is killing me already.

    • Respect his space...u don't want to pressure him and push him away by making your "presence" with him too often!

      I've done that; don't make my mistake, ok?

  • My guess would be one or more of the following: he has a low self-esteem and feels like he doesn't deserve to be happy, he feels guilty about something, or is not that interested anymore and doesn't want to hurt you.

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What Girls Said 2

  • That just seems like a line. He's just wanting to end things, period. He's making it seem like he's doing it for you, which is a manipulation tactic. Take what he says literally, it's over.

    I'm so sorry though :-\

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  • I've never personally run into this but at first thought I think he is trying to break up with you without breaking your heart. He is trying to manipulate you into thinking that you are leaving the relationship rather than him breaking it off. Just my opinion. If he really loved you then he would stay with you no matter how screwed up his life it. That shouldn't matter, love is what really matters.

    Good Luck and I'm sorry that you are going through this! Keep your head up!

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