How can I deal with my deployment stress?

So I got married a little over a year to go. I love my wife to death and every time I have had to step away for the field or anything that kept me from coming home made me realize how much I love her and how much I enjoy and cherish every moment we have together. Our first year of marriage was very rough we almost got divorced a few months in but we didn't give up that's not how we are. I am twenty and she is nineteen, we are young but we knew we were meant to be together pretty much on our first date.

So I have just been deployed and my chain of command let me know mere hours before I was suppose to go on leave with my wife to visit family. We were devastated, and it only gave us a few days to prepare for all this. It's been so hard for me at least she doesn't show it as much when I leave. I cried the hardest I have ever cried when I left. I have this nasty feeling like I won't come home to see her ever again. I would do anything to have one more day with her. I miss her so much, her smile and her laugh. I miss holding holding her and touching her soft face. I miss making her laugh. Skype does no justice, it's been two and a half months. It's killing me, how ami suppose to make it through this? I feel like when I come back so much will have changed. She looks different and sounds different on Skype. I'm terrified that one day she just won't be able to handle the stress and quit. I just have that feeling. I know she loves me and there is no doubt in our trust and loyalty it's just the stress of my absence and all the things I did at home resting in her shoulders. I wish I would never have joined the military if I knew it would cause such deep emotional pain. It's the worst feeling I have ever had

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Most Helpful Girl

  • At least you're being realistic about it. To deal with the stress you can try the following:

    *Communicate with your wife whenever you get the chance and vary the lines of communication - email, letter, phone, etc.

    *Keep a journal

    *Make friends with other married folks in your unit and see how they deal with the stress

    *The army also had a pdf about coping with deployment stress - some tips maybe useful to you link

    If your wife lives on or near a military base then you could suggest to her joining a support group for military wives of deployed husbands. That should help make coping stress on her end a bit easier.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Can you get another job once your contract expires?

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    • I plan on it, I would never sign again. This is my first time in the military too :(

    • I think the best communication to keep your relationship alive and connected is writing heart felt emails/letters to her constantly. That's one main way to deal with the stress. The other?, hmm keep yourself busy making friends / talking to people or have hobbies (exercise?)

What Guys Said 1

  • Time, distance, the stress of living wherever you are, and in her case, loneliness and not knowing when/if you will return..all tehse things do change people, and mostly not for the better!

    At least you aren't kidding yourselves about what you are going through. That should help you endure it.

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