Am I being overly jealous or is my boyfriend really pushing boundaries?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 months and when we first started dating, he told me about how he disliked one of his old flings (by which, I mean like a casual fling, not even an ex girlfriend). Lately, he's been getting closer to her again. He says he doesn't have any sexual attraction to her anymore and the only reason he keeps her around is that she feels like a sister to him and their personalities mesh really well together. That and she's an exchange student, so she's going back home in a few weeks. Fine, I'm OK with that.

But recently, she invited herself over to his apartment and stayed there over night over the weekend. He says nothing happened and that he slept on the couch (he even asked me if it was OK before it happened and I trusted him and thought it was a one time thing, so I said ok). But then she stayed over again the next weekend (he did tell me before again), but they didn't mention that it was two nights this time. All of this, I think I might be able to stomach, but then I found out they got high together (he's quit for a while now and he told me he'd never do it again) and then she even convinced him to try poppers. The worse part is that he told me they went to a sex shop together to get the drugs.

For me, I feel like this is overstepping the boundaries of friendship and it makes me really uncomfortable just thinking that they went in there together, regardless of whether they did anything or if they feel any sexual attraction for each other at all. Is it wrong of me to want him to back off from her and not do that again?

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What Girls Said 2

  • your supposed to be jealous that shows that you care. he should know when he's crossing the line. and that he is doing! I would not be okay for her to stay at his apartment, take drugs, or go to a sex shop together, I just wouldn't trust it, tell him how you feel. he will keep doing it and think he is in control if you don't say the stuff that bothers you in the relationship. if you don't it will be bottled up inside and you will become very depressed.

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    • Thank you for your advice. We talked about it for a bit when he first told me, but I think I was still processing what they did to say much. I'll bring it up again and tell him how I feel.

  • No it not wrong because if this you he'd be flipping out for sure. So tell him how you feel.

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    • Thank you for the reassurance! I'm definitely going to talk to him about it. We talked last night and he asked if I was OK with everything, but to be honest, I was a bit shocked and surprised and hurt to say much. I think I'll bring it up again later and really speak my mind.

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