Problems with my relationship? Worth trying to salvage it? Or should I move on?

I moved to NYC one year ago. I meet this wonderful girl that I started to date. She was my roommate. In February I had to move back to TN to take care my house that I own, and my parents. During this time, my father got very sick and had to be hospitalized. On the same day he was in the hospital my girlfriend was suppose to come down and visit me in TN from NY. I told her what was going on, and said she could come and visit, but I couldn't go out and do much, because I had to be in the hospital with my father to translate for him, and care for him. I did send her the money for her plane ticket. She was so upset and couldn't stop calling me on the phone several times. While I was sleeping in a chair in my dad's hospital room. So I had to break up with her, and blocked her from calling me. I do regret doing that, but I was so stressed out and needed some space to figure things out.

When I went back to NYC for a job interview I meet with her. We had dinner and slept again. There I saw some red flags, such as a guy was flirting with her while we were entering her apartment building, I saw a profile of another guy on okcupid, her best friend is gay and she admitted being naked in front of him, which I didn't like. Then in the end she called me a jerk, a manipulative a**hole, and an idiot? I still love her, but I know I can't trust her anymore, I know she was hurt, but I felt like, if she truly loved me she would have been more understanding, respectful and forgiving towards me? I am trying to work things out with her, but now she told me she needs time? And I know that even if I got back with her, things will never be the same between us? I just don't trust her anymore? She is using the excuse of me breaking up with her, which I did, but if someone claims to love you? Then one week after I blocked her, I reached back to her and explained to her what was going on with me and my father. During this one week break up, I believe she slept with someone else, she won't admit to that, because she told me she doesn't want to give me the satisfaction? I am moving back to NYC, and I really do miss her, but however, I think I would be better off without her? Any third opinion would be appreciated it?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Wait...I'm confused here. You needed space because she kept calling you, so you broke up with her. Then you get mad because she's on a dating site and guys are flirting with her? You broke up with her, remember? Whether or not she flirted, slept with, or dated another guy is irrelevant because you weren't together.

    I don't quite understand the issue.

    • yes, I felt like she was being clingy, and needy, not understanding nor respectful. when your father is having a heat attack and almost died, someone you truly love should understand that and respect that, or at least give you some space. She would always say it's always about your family, what about us? I meant I spend time with her, took her out to eat, went to the park, movies, etc, helped her had when he needed help, when her dad kicked her out, she moved in with me at my studio in NYC.

    • It sounds like her dad was a wise man. You should do likewise. She sounds like a bit of a diva. Now for a saying: Some people cause happiness wherever they go, for others it's whenever they go.

What Guys Said 1

  • This girl has so many issues. Sure, on your dime she traveled from NYC to see you. But she was very selfish in expecting you to pay that much attention to her when you were with your sick father. She's accepting the break-up you initiated. I would leave it at that. (Hint: you'll probably have more luck in finding a loyal, understanding girl in TN). Move on.

    • Thank you for your comment.

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