Should I be in a relationship with her or go with my gut?

I met an amazing girl who seems great. We get along well, the attraction is mutual, have similar interests, etc. On paper it looks great. The issue is that something feels off when we're together. I don't know what it is, but it feels weird in my gut. I guess I'm also worried long-term if it can work because we're both very stubborn, and my parents are stubborn also. My parents have been married for 20+ years but fight a lot and I don't want that in a relationship.

Also, I just broke up with my ex of a year a few months ago. I was completely in love with her, more than anyone else. And it was rather heartbreaking how it ended, it just ended, no reason she just lost interest. So as you can imagine, my emotions are a bit erratic and I'm not sure if I can trust them. So what should I do? Should I go against my gut and have a relationship with this girl? Or hold out for someone else?

  • Have a relationship with her
    Vote A
  • Don't have a relationship with her
    Vote B
  • Other or results
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
I don't know why I feel weird, I just do. Maybe the difference is that I'm not infatuated with her, it's just real between us. We're great friends, we're attracted to each other and just moving forward.


Most Helpful Girl

  • a lot of people feel this way, they get cold feet, that's why the other party wonders 'did I scare him/her away?' but let me tell you something, I think you are getting a little too ahead of yourself, and are acting like if you get with this girl you're gonna have be stuck with her and marry her or something. do you even know what Dating is? dating is when two people like each other enough to want to get to know MORE about each other, you go somewhere nice hang out and have a good time. is one date with this girl going to a movie having a nice dinner walking in the park going to kill you? I don't think so. I think if you let this opportunity go and lose her, then it will kill you even more. because once you reject someone, its really hard to get them back, they will never feel comfortable around you again even if they still have feelings for you, they will be insecure that you didn't want them in the begging and she wasn't your first choice. so you need to be careful what decision you make. I think you should take it easy, one step at a time, and let her know you are INTERESTED but you would like to get to know her more by taking her out on a date, also exchange numbers and just start talking. no one finds their life partner over night. you have to meet several dating partners before you find the one, otherwise how do you know what good true love is if you haven't experienced the bad to compare it with? if you didn't break up with your last girlfriend, how would you even know what love really is without going on to meet new girls? everyone has good and bad dating experiences but its all a learning process.

    so the answer is no don't jump into a relationship, relationship is a gradual thing, you should just be clear with your intentions with her that you want to get to know her more and date. either way she can be a good platonic friend in the long run.

    • also I forgot to add, don't let your parents relationship or your past relationships with other girls be the deciding factor of how your current or future relationships are going to be, with that mindset you're never going to find true love. you will always look at the negative and let it overshadow everything else. dude no relationship is perfect. tons of people are stubborn. its up to the couple to make each other better and bring the best out in each other.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • just have fun and date.

  • Try dating you don't have to commit your whole life to her right away.

  • if you have a bad gut feeling don't ignore it. but you don't have to enter a relationship yet. go slow and see what happens


What Guys Said 2

  • Try dating first, if things seem all perfect and lovey then you would be doing an injustice not to follow it. Otherwise, do what you feel like.

  • i'm sort of in the same situation , is a great girl I meet last year who I might of had the chance to get in a relationship with but I don't know I was never crazy about her and not even sure a relationship would work out . so I haven't really moved forward with anything as I didn't really see the point but I do see the benefits to dating someone as it can be enjoyable to get out and do things and provide some regularity to a dull sex life but at the same time relationships are work and we shouldn't rush into one if were not sure its what we really want