Is it possible to love someone and to cheat?

I'm curious about this. Personally I can't, even when I don't love still the gal, I'm not able to cheat even if the chance to it is there.
  • Yeah, for sure!
    Vote A
  • Hell no!
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think people who cheat "believe" they love the person when they don't really or not as much as they should be feeling anyway. So to them, they do believe they love them but when the temptation to cheat is there, they take it for the fun of it and don't think of the consequences. I think they feel quite hurt and maybe even ashamed of their actions when their partner leaves them over it. I think that's when the reality of their actions affects them. Whereas, people who genuinely love their partners would very easily turn away any form of temptation to cheat.

    Some people cheat for different reasons. Sex addicts are probably more likely to cheat, despite truly loving their partner. The temptation is just too strong for them to resist. So I guess it is possible for someone to love someone completely but still cheat.

    My ex cheated on me but I can't tell if he ever truly loved me. We lost our virginity to each other and we were together for a couple years. When I found out he'd cheated on me, he said he'd propose to me in the next 6 months but I refused and left him. You don't just throw proposals around and he was really upset and sorry when I found out. He said he never told me because he didn't want to lose me. That looks like he loved me but (like I said in the beginning) I always think that if you truly love someone, you wouldn't and couldn't cheat on them.

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What Girls Said 16

  • I think so. I've never done it and can't imagine doing it, but I think that depending on the person and their personality - I do think it's possible to cheat on someone you're in love with. Maybe because of alcohol, maybe a lapse in judgment, or maybe because you're pissed off or something - I dunno. I think people can make some pretty extreme mistakes in the right (or wrong) circumstances.

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    • I agree. Cheating can be some unfortunate accident of circumstance.

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    • I don't think it does, because if you TRULY loved them then that love should give you the strength, no matter how weak a person you are, to stay true. And the only case that you wouldn't would be against your will which means that'd be rape, not cheating (and still imo staying true to the other).

    • In an ideal world, that would be true. Unfortunately, I think that is too "black and white" a perception. Human emotions are a complex thing, and human behavior even more so. They don't always match up.

  • I believe it goes for each person. There are those who separate sex from love (and then it's possible) and there are those who don't, and so they just can't cheat while in love. But the thing is, if the first kind is REALLY in love, he won't put the relationship in risk for a one night stand. So, errrm, guess I just created a paradox. =p

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  • I chose the "Hell no" button, but what if you figured out that you love the person, but not the way you should be loving him/her? BUT! eventhough you don't know whether if it's right or wrong, tell your partner first! Don't cheat!

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  • Not true, romantic love. Maybe the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" love. But then again, love is unselfish, and cheating is disrespectful, dishonest, and selfish. So, likely no.

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    • I think cheaters will cheat if the love is not real, and that cheaters can also cheat because of some unfortunate circumstances, such as I have seen in my various wanderings on GAG, answering other people's questions.

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    • Yeah. But I think if an ex comes along, and you (in general) meet the person as a friend, sometimes things can slowly escalate, and in time, it becomes some fearful "game" in which you don't want to stop, but at the same time, you also want to stop. I'm not saying this is right though. I'm just saying it's possible, although rare. I think cheating and loving is possible, but I don't think cheating is okay or anything.

    • Yeah, but I feel that at that point the person stopped loving the partner and fell in love with the adrenaline rush, or back in love with the ex.

  • I do think it is possible to love someone and still cheat on them. BUT I don't think it's possible to love someone PROPERLY and have a healthy relationship with them and still cheat on them. There's a difference.

    Love isn't perfection. There can still be confusion, mistakes, and problems. I am in no way condoning cheating, and I personally would never cheat. In a healthy relationship cheating won't happen. But just because you feel love for someone that doesn't mean you're necessarily going to behave a certain way- and just because you behave a certain way that doesn't necessarily mean you do or don't love them. There are a lot of variables and a lot of different kinds of love.

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  • Sure. I've never cheated, but sex isn't the definition of being in love. What if you have the misfortune of falling in love with someone who's awful in bed?

    It's too easy to be judgmental.

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  • It all depends on the degree of love. Do they just love that person, because they've shared a long time closeness and history, or are they actually "in love" with that person.

    If someone was in love but at some point fell out of love, but they still love them more or less as a friend or like a close family member, but they haven't expressed that and gotten out of an intimate relationship with that person, then yes they can cheat. Its cheating because they're still in the relationship even though their degree of love has obviously changed for that person.

    If they were still in love with that person, then they are totally consumed by their feelings for them and they couldn't cheat because all they think about is that person. They are considerate of their feelings and emotions as well as their overall well being and are not compelled to cheat.

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  • People who do spur of the moment stupid stuff have a flip side to their betrayal

    -it was so fast, there wasn't time to think

    -the affair was cheap and as a result cheapens the love/relationship

    When someone plans it out, they probably aren't happy in what they have

    -it's wrong to consciously plan cheating!

    -they're unhappy (bad cop out)

    I think true unconditional love could only exist and there still be an infidelity if it was a cheap fast purely sexual affair..anything besides that and true love is not there, someone is unhappy and in that case, they should pipe up and say so

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  • I do blieve it's possible, but the question is... How many times do you have to go and cheat before you realize you don't love the person you're cheating on/that the person cheating doesn't love you.

    If you truly love this person you would forgive them, just like you would forgive your family if they hurt you. Why, because you love them and they love you, and even know they did they would never want to hurt you.

    I mean everyone makes mistakes and as hard as it may be... You need to Forgive and Forget. Or Forget and Forgive. By that I mean if you love this person, do the right thing forgive them, and moveforward. But, if you love them but nothing has changed let them go, so they won't cause you further distress, forgive them make them part of your past and move on. The CHOICE is yours.

    I hope this helps,

    xoxo Monae

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  • Vote b, if you love someone truly , you wouldn't hurt the person.

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  • No... I couldn't.

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  • Not really

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  • It happens

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  • Absolutely not.

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  • I was going to comment, but samhradh_leannan hit the nail on the head.

    It's definitely possible to love someone but still cheat on them at the same time, it's just (obviously) not a healthy relationship.

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  • Yes you can

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What Guys Said 10

  • Yes, it is still possible to "love" someone and cheat. But that is not true love. That is only an illusion of love. The illusion of love, is not being emotionally vested in a relationship, but being physically invested in the relationship. If all you want to do is sleep with whoever comes along that looks better than your significant other, that's not real love. In this case, it isn't a case of being able to love someone and cheat, because the love is not real.

    However, some people do love their significant other, and cheat as a result of some unfortunate circumstance. Say, you're in a relationship with a significant other, and then an old ex comes along. You either talk or text with that person, and before you know it, you're flirting, or worse. At that point, how do you define cheating?It could even be watching an inappropriate video of an ex or something like that. So yes, in this case, it is possible to love someone and cheat.

    Love does not mean that infidelity won't happen, because infidelity is due to a wandering eye, an inability to commit, and the desensitization to cheating. It is completely separate from love. Also, those with a strong moral background are less likely to cheat, and more likely to be faithful.

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    • I feel like cheating, even the lesser sins you mentioned above, is always a choice from entitlement and being dishonest.

    • Regarding the second paragraph, I think that's cheating. Regarding the first paragraph, I don't think that is love, but it is also cheating.

  • This just makes you a good person - never give that up - cheating is wrong on so many levels.

    If you feel the need to cheat - at least leave the other person first!

    On top not only will you hurt the girl / guy - but yourself also.

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  • I mean I don't do it personally but I'm tempted to a hella lot. Especially when I'm at my military college and get out after seeing nothing except dudes for a long while, sheesh I swear Id f*** just about anything that moves... (chick would also be a prerequisite)

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  • No, anyone who says yes is a lying child. They are confusing a real loving relationship with lust or a different type of love. But no, if you truly love someone, you never willingly cheat. And if you didn't willingly cheat, it was rape.

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    • lol I disagree with you my friend but I'm not lying nor am I a child thus your statement is a fallacy

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    • I think cheating on someone you love is possible. I think it's really rare and unlikely, and often, is a conscious choice. I certainly don't mean that cheating is okay, but I do think it can "just happen", like I said, unlikely though it may be.

    • And I think anyone who let's it "just happen" didn't truly love the other. They might love them on some degree, but that true deep love for another person that should be there for a real strong relationship? No. Otherwise that love would keep them strong and faithful to the other.

  • No. If you love the person you are with, you place them above all others. If you cheat, then you don't love the person you are with.

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  • I voted A because one can love their partner but have pathetically weak will power when it comes to "attention of interest" from the opposite gender.

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    • Then they didn't truly absolutely love that person. Because if they did, their love would give them strength and their full interest would be in that one person and no other. I really question if people have ever truly loved others on here cause it seems like many haven't experienced a real love for others, just lust or a different kinda love and they confused it with real love

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    • And that's why they are children if they do so. Adults, real ones, have full control over their actions and can control them.

    • No. Not all adults can control themselves. Children are no different than adults. A few years have passed, is all, so unless the adults have experienced some life changing event to help them grow up and be more in control and mature, they won't be able to control themselves completely.

  • No if you love someone, you can't cheat, or you don't love them.

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  • It's quite possible.

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  • -Men have sex and feel no emotion.

    -Women have sex and become attached to whom she's having sex with.

    -Men love their wife, f*** other women.

    -Women love their husband, and love the guy they're f***ing.

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    • Not all people are like that. Some guys get emotionally attached and some women don't.

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    • We can't just pick and choose logic that supports our rationale. It's not credible. You were fully in support of women having brains that "communicate more efficiently", but not what comes along with such efficiency. When men process information, it sticks more to the frontal lobes due to the fact that neural activity doesn't travel very well. Women on the other hand, they have more activity in various regions like the amygdala because of this efficiency. It doesn't make one better or worse than

    • the other, it's just they work differently.

  • This one is complicated. I would imagine that if you have a real, physical relationship in which you're fully respected, then it would be awfully stupid to cheat. Especially if you love the other. You don't show it by cheating. In fact, you weaken the bond even if she never finds out.

    Now Internet relationships are where it gets complicated. If you have two good chat buddies and have never met either in real life, then it's hard to know if you ever had a true relationship with them in the first place. And if they disappear for months on end without forewarning or explanation before returning and saying nothing, then are you really cheating if you find someone else, or did they genuinely abandon you and make the new connection acceptable? The latter would seem logical, but it's very hard to say anything for certain.

    It's why, at the moment, I'm considering going open again. I'll still talk to the Filipina gal, if she wants to talk. I'll also talk to the San Antonio gal. But I'd also like to hang out once in a while with the gal who lives a few miles down the road. That way, I have at least one non-Internet date to help me make up my mind.

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