Can't get him out of my head.

Ok. So I dated this guy for over 4 years and that was about 4 years ago. And yes, he was my first love. I've had two serious relationships since and never had any problems until this very moment.

It's been bothering me for over a month now and I can't stop thinking about my ex and I'm with another man. I hate it and I want it to stop but I know in my mind that I actually like him in there. I like remembering. But how can that possibly be when our relationship had gone down a really (excuse my French) sh*tty road. He was verbally abusive and very controlling. And after I finally ended it, I thought that it was done and I was free and for a short time I thought I was happy. And now suddenly I can't stop thinking of him, of how I want him to be happy and how much I want to speak to him and maybe even be friends. But that sounds super psychotic. Doesn't it? I don't understand why I feel this way. How can I miss someone I no longer know?


Most Helpful Guy

  • A verbally abusive and very controlling guy ain't someone you want, or should want, to be with. There's a difference between being a guy who has the confidence to be direct, versus someone who can bully you with abuse. The only reason why you're missing him is because his attitude has had a strong impact on you, though that's not necessarily to say that it has been a positive one either. You deserve a better man. Actually, I would hope that the guy who you're with now is better in all respects.

    • Thank you :) This helped

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What Guys Said 1

  • Simply avoid contacts.


What Girls Said 1

  • how is this present boyfriend treating u? are there things he does that may trigger the past? you may just be fantasizing about the good times, but don't the end he showed you who he really was...he won't change,u broke up for a reason, if you are not happy with your current beau, break up and be alone for a while, maybe you didn't have the time you needed to grief when you and your ex broke up,that's why many fall into rebounds and realize later on they should have fully healed first


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