Ok. So I dated this guy for over 4 years and that was about 4 years ago. And yes, he was my first love. I've had two serious relationships since and never had any problems until this very moment.
It's been bothering me for over a month now and I can't stop thinking about my ex and I'm with another man. I hate it and I want it to stop but I know in my mind that I actually like him in there. I like remembering. But how can that possibly be when our relationship had gone down a really (excuse my French) sh*tty road. He was verbally abusive and very controlling. And after I finally ended it, I thought that it was done and I was free and for a short time I thought I was happy. And now suddenly I can't stop thinking of him, of how I want him to be happy and how much I want to speak to him and maybe even be friends. But that sounds super psychotic. Doesn't it? I don't understand why I feel this way. How can I miss someone I no longer know?
Most Helpful Guy
A verbally abusive and very controlling guy ain't someone you want, or should want, to be with. There's a difference between being a guy who has the confidence to be direct, versus someone who can bully you with abuse. The only reason why you're missing him is because his attitude has had a strong impact on you, though that's not necessarily to say that it has been a positive one either. You deserve a better man. Actually, I would hope that the guy who you're with now is better in all respects.1