Is it wrong to be turned off by a 28 year old living at home still?

I met this amazing guy and we've been dating for a few weeks now. I found out he still lives at home, but it's not because he's going to school. He isn't in debt. He just doesn't want to move out yet. I could have been okay with it if he were having financial problems, or if he were going to school but he's not. He just does not want to work, and is happy still living at home.

I've been on my own since I was 19 and I am getting ready to buy a condo soon. I have an appointment with my bank to see about first time home buying in a couple weeks. I recently just paid off my car, and I have a nice savings account. I am 26. I just get worried that maybe he is looking for a free ride, because he told me if he met the right girl he would move out of his parents place.

He has never worked a day in his life. He just uses his parents cars for everything, and borrows money from them. So despite the fact that he is a decent guy in everything else, I don't know if I can date someone who hasn't and doesn't want to work. Who still lives with their parents, and has no plans to move out.

He is angry with me for it now too when he asked how I would feel if he moved in with me, and I said not unless he got a job first.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Uh... that would be like a guy asking, "Is it wrong to be turned off by a 28 year old girl who still plays with barbie dolls?"

    Getting into college isn't hard. Getting a semi-decent job without a college degree isn't hard either, though you need a degree if you want to do more than just get by.

    Like, I have zero official experience in security, but I just got hired by a pretty big security firm, and now I'll get paid $10 an hour to wear a suit and sit behind the console at an office building and greet people as they go by, haha. It'll be a decent job until I graduate next year. If I want to actually go through a few classes, I could be an armed security officer and get a way better assignment.

    Not working, not wanting to get your own place and be self-sufficient... that says that mentally, he's more like an early teenager than a grown man. It's pathetic.

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    • True, but a lot of people have gotten defensive of him with me. They're making it seem like I am bad a person because of it, but I don't think they know that he doesn't want to work. So far, internet people make more sense then people I know offline. How odd.

    • We can be cold hearted bastards and just tell you the flat truth, without getting our own emotions in the way, lol. Hence why strangers can often give better, more honest advice than friends.

    • Lol, yeah you're right about that. The reason I am on an anonymous internet site.

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What Guys Said 5

  • he sounds like a lazy f*** who just wants to sponge off of everyone around him. run now while you can...

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  • There's nothing amazing about this guy.

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    • Other then living with his parents we had a lot in common and he was able to look past my ugliness. Although now I'm starting to think you're right. I think he saw an insecure girl and wanted to take advantage. Most men reject me and tell me I am too ugly.

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    • i know that you know your experiences but you are not ugly, I don't have to see a picture to know that

    • Any guys who have rejected me have told me that I was a nice girl, and fun to hang around but they weren't attracted to me at all. Those were the politest ways. One time, last summer a guy told me right to my face that I was ugly and he'd stick it in an obese whales hole before mine, and he pointed to one of my girl friends. So not only did he insult me, but one of the nicest girls I know, and she's only slightly chubby. She's definitely not obese.

  • It's not wrong to be turned off.

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  • well it feels like a double-standard, because a girl can live with her parents at pretty much any age and most guys won't care, but the other way around, guys are expected to move out by a certain age, but if the guy is unemployed or not going to school either, then that's a different story, then it is more understandable as to why you would be turned off.

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    • Yeah but she shouldn't. I don't agree with girls living at home forever until a guy sweeps her off her feet. It's 2013. It's funny you said that though, because I've got a friend (my age) like that, and my older sister was basically saying what you said. She said I should dump him and set them up and see how well that relationship works out.

      My sister and I grew up with a single mother though, so maybe that's why we're different.

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    • Yeah but the way you were asking me and saying it, it made it look like this was something I thought when I don't. It didn't even answer my question about this situation. Just seemed like a rant or to judge me because of what other people think.

    • You still go on GaG?

  • Sometimes yes it is, In your case no, the guy is a looser. Only in this country would you owe money on a investment. Yes that's right a investment. You could put out your own money into shares and when a company runs scams you could end up owing money even though it's a investment! Now how does that correlate a man above his mid 20's to be still living at home? Because the rich steal from the poor!

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What Girls Said 2

  • he sounds like a freeloader bum!

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  • No it's not wrong

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