I liked my best female friend for awhile and I finally told her in April. She is a wonderful girl and I fell for her, hook, like and sinker. We spend so much time together and enjoy each others' company a lot.
I took her rejection extremely hard, but as usual, I internalized it. I repressed it as deeply as I could and moved on with my life. We stayed as close as we were before, which I enjoyed very much. Recently, though, the feelings burst back into my consciousness and it's been keeping me awake at night.
I think the stimulus is that although she knows and hates that she does this, she tends to run toward the jerks. Now, she's trying to get back with her ex who treated her like crap. Yes, I'm a tad jealous, but the more difficult issue is that now I have to watch her knowingly go into a relationship she knows is bad for her and get hurt again. She's too good a person for that.
She confessed to me to me this morning that when I told her I liked her, she did like me, but she has stronger feelings toward her ex than toward me. Now, before you call me to sweet and nice, I have a good balance. I'm a hard worker, successful and can be aggressive with my friends [and enemies], but I also have that sweet side, am a good listener and an understanding and compassionate individual.
How do I deal with this? She likes me, but now enough and I now I have to watch her go into a bad relationship and get hurt [again]? It pains me to see her go through that and I know she needs to learn on her own, but it frustrates me so much to not be able to do anything in this situation. Plus, my feelings for her are extremely strong (very rare for me). I know not to overstep my boundaries, plus my ethics and morals are too strong to do anything stupid, but I need to battle these feelings head on. Any advice?
Most Helpful Girl
There's nothing you can really do. You've told her, twice, and she still prefers her ex. I think that if it's huting you, you should be a little less around her. Let her go back with the douches as many times she wants, and, while that, you try to forget her and see other people. Eventually, she will miss you and see you are the one she needs and wants, and not those douches. She just need to get a little more mature mentally. And then, IF you (who seems to be a great guy and party) are still available and loving her, then you can try going on a relationship.1