Am I "in" my boyfriend's family now?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1,5 years. Yesterday, I was at their place for a cocktail and a dinner at this fancy restaurant. The whole family and close friends were there (grand-parents, aunt+uncle, cousins, godmothers, etc.). We were 14 people and I had never met his aunt and cousins before and a few other people. I had only met his grand-parents once before.

I picked my meals expecting to pay, so it came up to 45$ or so just for myself (I picked the cheapest meals). His father paid for me without telling me anything. I spent the night there (his grand-parents stayed too).

When I came back this morning, I told my mother all of this and she said "His parents paid for you? You're part of the family now".

What do you think? I'm also hoping that this year I'll be invited to The Christmas Dinner and chalet vacation (his aunt's chalet, whom I just met) with all of these same people.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think the fact that you were invited to a family affair says more than the fact that his father paid. I think it really depends on the family though. Some families are more like that than others. Some are very loose and inviting, others are more staid.

    Like most of my family probably wouldn't consider someone part of the family unless we were actually married, and even then it's questionable. My sister would be the exception and would treat anyone I was dating like an in-law.

    No matter how you look at it, it's not a bad thing. I would look at how they treat you in the future and how personal conversations are. Like are conversations just polite? Or are they more like friends or family would have? Adjust how you act with them and see how they react. Being part of the family goes both ways. So try playing that part a little and see how it goes.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Thanks for your thourough answer! Great advice!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Yes, you're in.

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  • Yes, you are.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It sure seems like you are, although I cannot provide a definite answer.

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  • After a year and a half, I would imagine you'd be "in." It's also a nice gesture to pay for you as a guest they invited to dinner

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