Reasonable explanation why he did this to me

Long story short . I had a best friend (guy) he had a girl girl didn't like me , she tried getting him to stop talking to me he chose me left her talked so much smack about her because she made up many rumors of me and him . Then he confesses he has a crush on me months after . I fit like him at all tho but little by little he won me over and we started having a thing that escalated to me loosening it to him and we had a terrible regnant scare and I was stressed and worried to the point I went to vent with a girl that I knew had gone they the situation . I never mentioned that it was my situation but she spread it around school and said it was till it got to him and he got furious with me he said that you don't say what we do in our relationship to others I'm so disappointed in you and he said he was moving on . It hurt me so much because I have him everything and he didn't think of that . And now I find out that he's back with his ex girlfriend the one I mentioned earlier not even 2 weeks after we broke up . I don't get why he did this to me and himself because according to him he was done with her . I told him how I felt about him going back with her and he said he's tired of doing what everyone else wants him to do and he said don't be sad because I don't give a sh*t ;( I don't know what to do or think . Leave comments and thoughts please . I want him to open his eyes he doesn't talk to me nor even look at me and the other girl is just happy she hurt me . Guys help?

So its been almost 2 months and I talked to him to get answers and turns out he blames me for everything he said it was me messing up everything and that I was a mistake in his life ... I said F*** YOUUUUUU


Most Helpful Guy

  • As soon as your boyfriend started talking badly about his ex girlfriend, that was a warning sign. Now that he's back with her, it's likely that he's talking badly about you. This is a misunderstanding, and if your boyfriend won't hear you out, then that's too bad for him. He should have listened to your story first. But it's likely that at the time that he found out that there were rumors going on, he thought you were just like his ex, and so broke up with you, and in no time got back with his ex. I think that it could be that your ex-boyfriend is only in the relationships to sleep with the girl he's with. Is this true?

    Your boyfriend's current girlfriend was not the right person from him. He just got back with her again, especially after breaking up with you, and that sounds kind of shallow of him. Next time, try not to get scared, but what you did was you vented to your friend. But you vented towards the wrong person, and you didn't say that it was you. But it's also true that the girl (is she your friend?) should not have told so many people. It's likely that she thought you were gossiping, and so told other people.

    You should have explained it to your boyfriend/ex-boyfriend. That's the problem with an inability to listen. Your boyfriend/ex didn't listen to what you had to say, and that's why some relationships fail. You should have said "I was scared, because pregnancy is a scary time, and so I went to a girl who went through the same thing, thinking I could get help from her. I didn't tell her it was me, and she spread rumors to other people, perhaps thinking that what I was telling her were rumors too. I didn't mean for this to happen." This is what you would have said to communicate properly, but now, since your boyfriend broke up with you and got with his ex, you should forget about him. He's not good enough for you.

    However, don't wonder why he did this to you. He may have said that he was done with her, but he didn't get his priorities straight. People are like that sometimes. They say one thing and do another, and they don't know what's best for themselves. He made a mistake, and so did the girl you went to talk to.

    Did he say for you to not be sad because he didn't care, or did he say for you to not be said because you didn't care about him?

    Go to the girl you talked to, and tell her that you're upset. Tell her that the person you were talking about was you yourself, and that by spreading rumors, it caused your boyfriend to break up with you because he had thought that you were spreading rumors. But what isn't clear to me, is if the girl you talked to didn't know it was you, why would this be a problem? Why would your boyfriend have suspected that it was you?

    Next time, wait until you have a stable career and a well-paying job before you get a baby.

    • Thank you and the when I went to the girl I had said it was advice for a friend and then she went around to others saying it was what happened to me like she only assumed it and spread it around. I tried but she doesn't car and he said not be sad because he doesn't care about my feelings towards the situation and the other girl well his girlfriend is all happy that she's making me go through hell . Her ex boyfriend talked to me and said wow they're both stupid because she doesn't want him

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    • Yes he did . What's bothering me the most is that I think of him constantly and he had already taken me to his parents and family and they all loved me and then he does this it makes no seance his mom dislikes that girl because she made a living hell for the both of us and I just wonder if he misses me too :/ I just found out by her ex that she's not even interested or Ito my ex I feel like telling him but I don't want to make it seem like I'm jealous or trying to get in between karma came quick

    • It has nothing to do with karma. Your can't tell your ex that his ex said that his current girlfriend doesn't like him. And all this he/she/boyfriend/ex is getting confusing because he's your ex but he was your boyfriend, and his current girlfriend is his girlfriend but was also his ex, and then there are more ex's that your boyfriend had.

      It's his decision, and his family are doing the best they can, but it's not working. Just take your time and see what happens.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I feel like I have to play Devil's Advocate for a second here. You did mess up when you took something personal between you and him to someone else. You may have done it hypothetically, but it is still yours and his business alone. I can definitely see why he is upset.

    That said, it seems like he has used it as an excuse to get back with his ex. Some guys who want out of a relationship blow something trivial way out of proportion just to have an excuse to end things. It's not mature but it is what it is.

    Try to move on. The guy honestly doesn't sound worth a damn even if he was your first and you think you love him. You're not even 18 yet so there will be plenty of guys to love before you find the right one. Good luck,

    • People do need to vent sometimes, and that's why some people talk to others about personal things. Besides, that girl didn't even know that this girl was talking about herself.

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    • Yeah, I think venting is only okay to do with people that you really trust, and who you know will not give secrets away. That girl that gossiped was really shallow.

    • Yes she was and caused all of this but it's mostly his fault for not giving me the chance to speak and he didn't bother listening to me

  • well he's clearly immature. he's mad that his business got out in the open and that is understandable but to cut someone out over it is ridiculous. If I were you I wouldn't expect or really want anything from himother than an apology, but I also wouldn't wait for one to come. I imagine he's talking stuff about you right now with girl, ex, girlfriend and in all honesty a real upstanding human simply doesn't bad mouth people behind others' backs especially if he claims to be their friend...

    So take it as a tough lesson learned and move forward. I imagine at some point he will realize he's been a jerk and come apologizing back to you. But at this moment you should decide if you really see him as a friend and person worth concerning yourself with... in my opinion he's not worth it

    • Thank you for your opinion and that is exactly what I want I expect an apology but the thing that hurts me even more is knowing that I gave him my all and he goes back to her knowing that me and her don't get along and supposibly he was one with her but I am moving on I'm just waiting for the day he comes to apologize and I can say f*** off

    • I hear you, it's got to be extremely frustrating especially after you listened to him b*tch about her. It just says a lot about who he is and his maturity level or lack thereof... One day he'll probably come to apologize I imagine, while you say you'll tell him to f*ck off now, you'll simply say thanks but the damage has been done as it sounds like you are a pretty mature and thoughtful person

    • Yes that is what I intend to do because yesterday I got a random message from her ex boyfriend whom I am friends with and he said wow they're both stupid once I told him they went back to each other and he said she doesn't even want him doesn't this tell you so thin me and her break up they get together then I talk to her again they break up then I stop talking to her and they're back again . It's all just a big mess

  • He is immature, unforgiving, and (I'm sorry to say this to you) doesn't care about you enough to consider your feelings about his choice to date her. He could also be dating her to intentionally hurt you, as a form of retaliation. Simply put, he is all about himself and what he wants. He is not the guy you thought you knew.

    The sooner you accept that, the better you will be.

    • Yes that's what most say and I am seeing it for myself . That's what hurts that he doesn't open up to me because he's caught up in the situation and blinded by anger

  • He's definitely not a man of his word that's for sure. He's definitely immature and disrespectful. Just try to get over it hun. Don't waste your tears on some guy that went back on his word and went back to his ex . That's the stupidest thing he could'e ever done. One mistake you did do however was telling a "friend" about what happened. You can really trust no one. Only trust something like that with someone that you've known for a long time and you have builded a strong between you two.

    • Yes I feel very bad and used but that fact won't change anymore because what's done is done an I can't get my innocence back . I'm just waiting for the girl to Fk him over and he will regret it and I won't be there anymore

  • Simply stay away from him.


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