People who've been cheated on, less likely to cheat?

We all know that when something negative happens to a person, they do whatever they can to avoid it from happening in the future. But would that person also avoid inflicting the same damage to someone else? I'm mainly wondering if girls/guys who have been cheated on would be less likely to cheat on their partner.

The reason I'm asking is because my gf's behavior has been off lately. There are times where she'll avoid questions and times where she won't really tell me what she's up to or what her plans on for the next day. Part of me thinks she just doesn't see it as important, so she doesn't tell me what she's up to.

She has been cheated on before, multiple times and has done everything to ensure that I won't cheat on her, even though she knows I love her and wouldn't dream of it.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If she is cheating, it is not because she got cheated on, it would be because she is a selfish person who isn't thinking of anyone but herself,my ex was cheated on (so he said) come to find out he was the biggest liar and cheater I have ever met,he was doing so much dirt ,and I had the feeling in my gut although he swore he could NEVER do that. He did it throughout the whole relationship...he could nt just have been honest. If you suspect something listen to your intuition, mine has NEVER steered me wrong.


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What Girls Said 2

  • It depends on the person. No not every person that cheats will be less likely to cheat but usually you are because you know what it feels like to be treated like that.

    Now if you don't have the strength to deal with a betrayal like that you don't trust people and are insecure which leads to you cheating. If your girlfriend hasn't found a way to heal from that hurt than it's possible she might cheat on you.

    Most likely something is just up with her life. Don't ask her if she's cheating because that won't get you anywhere. It sounds like you've been tiptoeing around and trying to hint at the subject but haven't directly addressed it.

    You need to do that. Just sit her down and express that her change in behavior is concerning you. Let her know that you are willing and open to talking about whatever it is. If she tells you that it really is no big deal then it is.

    • I don't think she has gotten over it. She constantly brings it up whenever she sees another girl around me, even if that girl is someone who I clearly never intend on seeing again. She uses it in arguments as well, which is concerning. I'll post another question going into more detail about how she behaves, but honestly I don't know anymore.

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    • Yeah that's probably why she hasn't said. As you said asking for space for the fourth time really wouldn't be worth it and it definitely seems like she's doing so nonverbally. Just remember to do what feels right to you.

    • Thank you for the advice, I'll wait till I see her next to make a decision

  • I've cheated before. I did it early on in the relationship. I later on fell in love with him and gravely regretted it. I'd never do it again. I'd forgive cheating if my partner were truly remorseful. But sex is unforgivable. I only kissed another guy and a bit of touching. I've been cheated on before that relationship. So that's why I didn't take dating seriously. But once I found love I realized unfaithfulness is deeply wounding.


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