After roommate sabotage, is there still a chance?

When we had the talk, now a month ago, he said that he talked to his roommate; he doesn't have any family of his own so his roommate was the only one he would talk to about us. His roommate had a lot of influence over him in our relationship, giving him advice, and saying things that lead to our breakup. His roommate emphasized things that made my ex feel like it became issues that made our relationship not work, and when I would tell him how it really was he would stay quiet and said that he was confused, but he didn't feel right anymore to be in a relationship. He would even tell me that his roommate advised him on what to do or say, and his roommate was always very negative and would reference his past relationships from the things that he told me. Can it be fixed somehow, I still love him, if I give him time and space and he sees me again will he remembered how he first felt and thought about us without the things his roommate told him during our relationship?

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What Guys Said 1

  • Poisonous tongues can do so much harm! The roommate sounds like he has it in for womankind! It's a good sign that when you talked to him, he didn't reject what you had to say, even if he didn't accept it fully either. When he admits that his roommate told him what to do or say, you could ask what does he think he should say or do. His roommate has no business speaking for him.

    Surely there's some sensible soul in his life in whom he trusts? It might be helpful if a neutral party talked to him about the relationship, not to advocate for you but simply to make sense of his confusion. You're at a disadvantage here because whatever you say, the roommate can make it into some kind of plot. This is harder to pull off with a third party.

    I'm not sure that time and space are the solution. The more often someone hears a lie repeated, the more inclined they are to believe it.

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