hey there , that 's not gonna take long you have my word .. well the thing 's , I 've been in a relationship for 5 years now .. lots of obstacles but always taken care of , these whiles lots of things 's been going on , weak communication and even when we talk it 's been so much like torture to listen to him , he 's always busy and even when he talks to me he doesn't even make me feel like he cares .. so I 've been on chats for a while , like normal chat messing around , I knew this guy who 's out of my town and we started to talk about everything for like 3 weeks , normal talking and so , but after that it 's been like 2 weeks after we talked about things we were not suppose to , well just to be honest it was so much like phone sex but not exactly it was like (4-5)times , he didn't see my whole body , but enough to make things go worse , well I 've made my mind and I stopped it and I told him I can't talk to him and I gave him a good reason , but still I can't sleep and I can't really tell my boyfriend about it he would break up with me please please tell me what can I do to fix this , I feel like so cheap and not worth anything
Most Helpful Guy
Ehh... It's kinda slippery here. I wouldn't say you outright cheated, but if you're that sure that what you did is a deal breaker for your boyfriend, then definitely you've done things you shouldn't have, and sorry to say, but by some standards, that's cheating. You were certainly playing with fire.
If you want to unburden your soul, clear your conscience, and get it out, then yeah you should probably tell him. There is a chance you can come back from this. As I said, this isn't outright cheating, so that might be your window for forgiveness. Especially since you stopped it before it went too far. So, if you're going to tell him, tell him, just don't get too descriptive.
For example, tell him you started talking to some guy, and it got a little risque, and flirty, but you ended if before it was too late. Something like that. Explain that you even entertained it as long as you did because you felt lonely, but stopped before doing anything you couldn't take back, all because you love him (or "care for him", if you haven't said you love him yet) and couldn't stand losing him. From there, just throw yourself at his mercy.
That's how I would suggest telling him if you do. Just if you do, don't wait too long. If you really can't tell him, then just sit on this, and hope for the best. I assume you will gradually get over this eventually, but it's gonna lose you some sleep in the meantime. Sorry. But in the meantime, I would suggest you work on trying to fix some of the problems in your relationship, because they do sound like pretty legitimate complaints. You don't sound happy. If you don't want it to end, you should work to fix your relationship as best you can so this doesn't happen again.
If this ever starts to happen again, or if you ever start finding yourself sliding back toward this situation again, I imagine it's probably going to get worse before you stop. If so, I would recommend breaking up with him. As you said, you do have a lot of problems, bad communication, and when you do talk it's torture to listen to him. Then there's how he has no time for you, and you don't feel like he cares... yeah.. it sounds like you're not happy in your relationship.
So if it looks like this cheating problem might happen again, it might be better you just leave, and try to find someone better. Someone who makes you happy. After all, you're clearly not even 25 yet, so you're still young, there's plenty of others out there, and frankly life is too short to waste on a relationship that doesn't work, and makes you feel crappy. I know from experience, believe me. (This might also be good advice for if you ever reconsider trying to tell him.)
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck with this situation. I hope things get better for you real soon, and if things don't work out, then at least you if you tried your best, you can take comfort in that. But I honestly think that in the end all will be well.
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