Why be friends with benifits? Why not a relationship if you like each other?

My sister has been on the wrong path lately. She's been hiding things, secretly going out drinking, smoking cigarettes and weed, and now even chewing dip, all of which she hides in her room which my mom has found. Since then she's been secretly monitoring her (going on her Facebook and phone, reading her notes to her ex, etc.) Of course, she doesn't come clean with anything. She's 17, and last year she was with a 20 year old, which my mom strongly disapproved of but my sister did it anyway. It lasted a month or two, then it got broken off. Now, they just recently became friends with benefits. I guess it fits since that's all they seem to do. But if my sister's ex "loves" her, then why not just get into a relationship instead of being screw buddies? I think my sister's ex has someone on the side, but my sister is too blind to see that. Before they decided to do this, my sister found out her ex had a girlfriend she didn't tell her about and her ex said they apparently got into a fight and she didn't know if they were together or not, which to me sounds like total bull. What do you think?


Most Helpful Girl

  • because kids nowadays don't have any emotional depth and just want the easy way out. sad thing really


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What Guys Said 3

  • Hello,

    I think that friends with benefits can be preferred in her case. As she has very little emotional attachment to the guy, she may feel less worried about getting hurt like in the past. Friends with benefits still gives you the pleasure of sexual intercourse without the drawback of heart break.

    The risk with being in a relationship with her ex is obvious isn't it? He could be lying which would mean the entire foundation of their relationship was built on cheating. There's already a sense of mistrust between them; what is the point of taking a leap of faith here, when you don't know if anything your partner says is the truth?

    I have to be honest though, how you invaded her privacy truly does disgust me. Yes she is foolishly drinking and doing drugs, like so many other teenagers, but it's her body, her life and her mistakes to be learnt from. If she found out what your'e doing like I did, I doubt she'd feel remotely comfortable around your family and will feel very isolated around you.

    I hope you do speak to her like a sister does, but stop invading her privacy! It's not right or helpful for your relationship with her. If you don't trust her and she finds out what your'e doing, then I have no idea how your going to fix that.

    I honestly hope it all works out.



    • I'm actually not the one doing it, my mother is. She's just told me about it. I've found out the smoking on my own by overhearing a conversation and confronting her about it. But all the rest was my mother cleaning her room and discovering things. Plus it doesn't help my mother doesn't trust my sister much after so many lies in the past here lately. And I guess I wasn't completely clear on the friends with benefits thing, my sister wants a relationship, but her ex wants just friends with benefits and keeps making excuses about it.

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    • I can't really talk to her about guys because she likes girls lol ^^'

      But I try. She only talks to the friends she does drugs with though, she never talks to anyone at home. She never has. Well, scratch that, she used to but after her first girlfriend she kinda stopped.

      I would, but I wouldn't know what to say.

      Thanks :)

    • If she's attracted to girls it's nothing to worry about, I hope you all the best as I think you do care about her.

      Good Luck.


  • FWB means you can sleep with other people that's the whole point.. some people aren't meant for relationships and good friends recognize everyone has needs and they help each other out.

    • Yeah, I know. But I think it's stupid they are because my sister wants a relationship and probably doesn't think her stupid ex is just going to see her.

  • That's because the sex is just fine.


What Girls Said 1

  • Relationships aren't for everyone. Some people want sex but they want the freedom of being single so I think that's one reason. I would never do that because if I love someone I want to be in an actual relationship but I'm not going to judge those who do like FWB relationships