Bf says he will break up with me if he finds out that I've cut.

I've been struggling with self harm for a couple of years now, but I'm not one of those people who do it a lot it'd be a once in a while type thing when I'm really upset or need a stress release. I wasn't feeling so good one time and I told him that I just wanted it to be over with and I was saying all this stupid stuff. It turns out I upset him so much that he felt the need to show me how he feels when I cut... So he did it... said that if I ever cut again he will end us. I found this really unfair.. and since then I have cut I don't want him to find out, because I don't want it to be over. I know if I don't want it to be over I shouldn't have done it but, I did. I've got help from councilors, I've tried the butterfly, the rubber-band. But nothing has worked. Help.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay, I'm going to be completely honest with you and it may be a little harsh so please don't go cut after you read this.

    You sound like an outright drama queen and in a relationship, that is a pain in the ass. Cutting is disgusting, unhealthy, and dangerous. Not only that, but it is totally unfair to dump your emotional issues on your boyfriend. It's not unfair for him to want to break up with you; you seem to be providing a dramatic, depressing, moody atmosphere in his life by being the type of girlfriend who is so dramatic and unstable that you hurt yourself. IT'S.ANNOYING. Relationships are not supposed to be full of drama. Guys like females who can move beyond their emotional issues. It's frustrating for guys and girls to be with someone who is so dramatic and doesn't have the strength to deal with their problems the HEALTHY way. He's probably annoyed, frustrated, and tired of all the drama. I don't know what else to tell you, maybe you need to go to some kind of center. But life is short and overall, people generally don't want to deal with this bullsh*t. It is beyond frustrating and while you are being Queen Drama, you guys could be making memories to cherish but that's not possible because you won't get your sh*t together.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Like I said it's not like I am doing it every day it's not my life. He is my life. He knows that but I break easily under pressure. I know its not healthy, it's disgusting etc Do you think I want to do this? you make it out to be so easy but trust me sweetie it is not easy.

    • It doesn't matter if you do it every day. The point is that you do it and the results of it; the drama and negativity are annoying. You need to get your sh*t together. You need to get help or something. You are a huge drama queen and to be honest, I don't blame him for being unattracted to the situation.

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What Guys Said 3

  • He's just trying to help you the best way he can. Saying you can't help yourself is like a fat person saying they really need that piece of cake. At some level, you "need" what is bad for you but the willpower to resist is there and, if you can't get past the willpower, you can always call a friend and tell them you're feeling weak. Or, you can just give in to the endorphins that you're creating by cutting and let chemistry run your life.

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    • i never said I can't help myself.

    • I guess I misunderstoon "'I've been struggling with self harm for a couple of years now," and "But nothing has worked. Help"

      Acceptance of the problem is the first step.

  • You need to get help and stop cutting. I don't blame him for threatening to leave you. just because you are self destructive, doesn't mean he has to be a part of it.

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  • Well, why would you hurt yourself in the first place.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't believe that people should be judged for not wanting to continue with self destructive people. Just because you want to go down a dark path does not mean he wants to go with you. Sometimes people have a line that they will not cross and that is his. He has set his personal boundaries and calling a logical boundry as unfair is rather immature. I suggest help from a counselor and finding out why. Also be honest with him and let him come to some sessions with you to understand. Let him decide if he wants to help or get out. Hiding something like this is not healthy and will only hurt the relationship worse once it is found out.

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    • I'm NOT taking him down the path with me it was his choice, like I said before he told me to tell him when I felt these needs and I do. I have gotten help before and it didn't work obviously. I just thought it was rather unfair that he would rather leave then try help me.

    • Like you said it's his choice. And his choice is to not go down that road. End of story. I don't mean to sound harsh, but you obviously need more help and he is not prepared for that nor does he want to. As I stated anybody invovled with self destructive behavior has no shame in not staying. This is the same as drugs or alcoholism. You can't stay forever without seeing results. Once again it's his decision and not yours.

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