Why would an ex boyfriend randomly contact me after over a year apart?

Things didn't end too well with us and he hurt me pretty bad. I wake up today to see a text from him. He was asking how I was doing and he said that he "really missed talking to me."

I couldn't care less about him at this point. I'm 100% over him and I'm now in a relationship that I'm so happy to be in.

I'm rather confused as to why he would contact me, especially when he told me he was engaged two months after we broke up.
He says that he regrets breaking up with me and that it was a "huge f**cking mistake". He wants another chance. Honestly, I think he's just lonely and thinks that I'm still naive like I was when we were together. He said him and his fiance broke up about 4 months ago and he "happened" to remember my number. So I told him that I have a boyfriend that I'm happily with and that it's not going to change. He wants to be friends now. I don't think it's a good idea.


Most Helpful Girl

  • He is probably being honest about missing you and was just reaching out to see if you would respond. I would. Tell him life is great! You're in a healthy relatinship that makes you happy. Don't leave it open ended, like asking, how are you? That gives him reason to keep corresponding with you. Just end it with, "Hope things are good for you, take care." Then you've been polite, you've shown him that you've moved on and that even if he were contacting you to get back with you, you aren't interested. It also means you do not have to respond if he contacts you again because, 'take care', is not an invitation to continue talking.


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What Guys Said 2

  • If he did treat you good before the break up and during the relationship then I see no reason to why you shouldn’t give him a chance maybe?

    But to me he sounds like an a**hole actually.

    The question is who broke up and why it did end, that is the most important thing to know here so that once can be able to answer the question on why he is contacting you now.

    • I'm not giving him a second chance. I found someone that I'm happy with and love and I would never leave him for anyone else. My ex was a complete a**hole. He led me on, told me he loved me, once I fell for it, he told me he wasn't over his ex and that he wasn't sure if he loved me or not. He told me I was immature and that we were too different because of our age difference. (I was 18 and he was 25 when we were together). But now he wants a 2nd chance? no way.

    • Well you will always find someone ells, that's a given even with this guy you are with right now.

      I believe in second chances, but some don’t, at least then you know for sure, it's totally up to you.

      There is so much that can be learned from it and with the right moves taken the relationship can grow to become even stronger than ever.

    • Everyone deserves a second chance, but that's about it.

      You can only make a mistake once, after that it's no longer a misstake but actions made on purpose, consciously or unconsciously.

  • Something in his life triggered a good memory of you and he wanted to feel like he felt in that moment.


What Girls Said 1

  • men do this all the time. I've had it done to many more than once. They split from a girl, then, somewhere down the road they suddenly start missing her, for whatever reason. I think its very normal.


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