I use to date this girl for about a month (we're mid 20s) a while back ago. The last month or so we've grown A LOT closer and have been more comfortable with one another. We have spent more time together and been closer than we were when we use to date. Lately, we're been fooling around, kissing, holding hands, etc. Yet, when we had a talk about 'us', she said she wants to focus on herself right now. I told her that I liked her and she admitted that she does like me. She also let it slip how I've been "flickering on and off in the friend zone". When I pushed more, she said she didn't want a relationship and started to go back on things that she said. Mind you, my intent wasn't to pressure her into jumping into a relationship. I simply wanted to know what she was feeling and thinking. She blamed me "not opening up" to her as the reason why we weren't dating so I took the liberty of being straight up with her. Instead, she "sees how much she's been hurting me" and wants to set boundaries on what we do now and be 'friends'. Even though I told her I thought that's what we've been this whole time. How would you label us then? I swore we were and still are friends who like each other. She had a real back breakup YEARS ago and hasn't had a serious relationship since. She has 'dated' but never for too long. It seems like she just freaked out when we talked about us since she hasn't "been in this situation in a long time" (her words). Any idea why she would act this way and what she's thinking? Thanks.
Most Helpful Guy
She's not good at dealing with relationship pressure, and, whether you know it or not, you put her under a lot of pressure by asking for a definition of what you were.
So she got defensive,
and started talking about boundaries and the like.. I think you may have put the wrong foot forward, for sure.
Back off for a while and see how she responds. Most likely she wasn't serious about this idea of setting boundaries, she just was trying to ward off any more conversation about who was not opening up, who wasn't serious, and so on.
Most of all,she is going to blame you whenever you start discussing problems you are having!0