So this man (38, for an age/maturity reference) and I dated for a while. However, the relationship kind of dissolved and he got back with his ex. Recently, he told me he thought he made a mistake. We have been sleeping together regularly, even though they haven't split. I realize he probably won't leave her, and when I had a pregnancy scare he said we shouldn't do anything other than be friends anymore. So.. I said okay. Three days later..he was back in my bed. And its not just crazy sex (well..often it is).. but he also slows down..tells me he's going to make love to me and then does.
Now, when I see him at work he's always touching me. Hitting me playfully, sticking something on my clothes, just generally flirting.. we have serious moments, too. He has told me he would be jealous if I hooked up with anyone else, and today he kept touching my chin (straaange I know). And he also told me he knows me better than I know myself...
The thing is.. I still have feelings for him. I realize what I'm doing to his girl is wrong. I feel so guilty, but I keep getting pulled in.
I just need advice.. I don't know how to keep bumping into him at work. Is he acting like this to keep me hanging on as a backup? I am alone where I live.. I moved for my job. So he's the closest thing I have to a friend..I'm scared of losing that aspect more than the sex, because I'm tired of feeling used, even though I feel so at ease in the moment when he's playing next to me and cuddling with me.. do I just stop all communications, or just keep it strictly business? I don't know...I'm confused.
Most Helpful Girl
hes just using you as a backup.
in case if something happens with him and his girl, he will still have you.
and he seems like a smooth talker, especially through sex which every guy knows will get the girl more emotionally attached to them and get them 'whipped'
ive been going through the same thing with my ex for 7 months now, and I just ended it yesterday cause I got tired of just getting used.
if he really truly cared for you, he would leave the other chick and put you first.
i know its hard to grasp and that you don't want to loose him, but you really have to think about what's better for yourself. you don't need someone like that. you deserve a hella lot better. someone thatd put you first always.
cause if you guys did get back together, how do you know that he won't sleep with some other girl while he's with you?
hes a player; and its not healthy for you emotionally at all. sooner or later itll start getting to your head and messing with you.