You're either cheating or you're getting cheated on.. T or F?

Sadly, in my observations it has always been true. In every single relationship with every single person I've known (Literally every single one).

One person was either cheating or getting cheated on.

Of course this isn't absolute, but do you think that's predominantly the case?

However, I'm beginning to feel that at the very least, EVERY single person EMOTIONALLY cheats on their partner at least once.. And the only way to accept this is to cheat on my future girlfriend/wife.
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What Girls Said 12

  • If that were true, what would be the point in entering a relationship?

    Are you already trying to find an excuse to cheat on your future girlfriend/wife? =___=

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    • I contemplate that myself. Solution is don't have a relationship, but what's life without having a loved one? That means the next solution is suicide or something.

      I don't think it's an excuse. I never want to cheat on my girlfriend, but her cheating seems to be inevitable and the only way to find some sort of solace is to cheat as well.

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    • I really don't think so, because honestly, I wouldn't put myself in a position where sleeping with another girl could be a possibility.

      You're welcome. I'm glad you liked it. :) Emotional cheating often does lead to physical cheating, but even without physicality it is cheating. Of course physical cheating is worse, but both suck. Don't fit in? It says you live in Japan, I would have thought people are more committed to their long-term relationships there. I hope there's more like us :(

    • Well, that's what I meant before... Your friend put himself in that position.

      I live in Japan, but I'm not Japanese; just with that I already don't fit in.

      Most people here are committed to long-term relationships, but many marry without love, just to start a family with someone good enough... Cheating isn't condemned, it's more like an individual choice, and you can accept it or not. In fact, in a way you already did by marrying without love. It isn't personal.

  • I don't believe 'you're either cheating or being cheated on'. That to me means one or the other in the relationship is cheating physically. What I DO believe is that there may be times under certain circumstances, especially in long term relationships (i've been married 33 years), when there will be an emotional intimacy with someone outside of the relationship for one or both. Do I think it's right, no. Do I think it's inevitable, no. But I do believe after being with the same person long enough, there comes a time when the person can't be everything you need them to be at the exact time you need them.

    Perhaps it's because you're both going through the same thing (ie: loss of a parents or siblings, children leaving for college or moving out, family financial troubles that seem insurmountable) and just aren't able to support each other as well as you normally do because you need support yourself. In my experience, some couples are able to pull together and get through these things. They are the few and the blessed. Others may not want to burden their SO/spouse with their concerns knowing the other is overwhelmed with the same or similar problem. Though it may not be the best thing to do, it is often done with the best of intentions by not wanting to add to the others' worries. In most of these cases of "emotional affairs", the couple can get through this and find their way back to one another and may end up even stronger and better able to cope together the next time they face a major challenge.

    But if someone seeks emotional intimacy from someone outside of the relationship because they feel unappreciated, ignored or that their feelings don't matter, there is a major problem in the relationship that needs to be addressed. If you're not careful, emotional intimacy with someone else for these reasons usually leads to the partner leaving the relationship or to a physical affair and outright cheating. Once you cross that boundary, it's a whole different ballgame.

    I'm sorry to hear that you feel that there is a need to cheat on a future girlfriend or wife before they can cheat on you. Saying that makes it sound as if you're setting yourself up for a failed relationship or have already decided she'll cheat on you. I'll let you in on a little something.. if you go into a relationship suspicious and expecting to be cheated on, chances are you will be. I don't mean to be harsh, just honest... but if you expect the worst in someone, that's usually what you get. I wish you all the best.

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    • See, I think my expectations are too unrealistic. I think every person emotionally cheats at least once in a long term relationship. But I can't accept that. I'm a handsome guy, driven, family oriented, etc, and I just don't even bother getting into relationships, because I feel as though if you're going to emotionally cheat you may as well be physically cheating. I don't believe in that come back together stronger after emotionally cheating bs. I agree with your last paragraph.

  • Monogamy is supposed to be considered to be "natural", however society has somewhat glorified cheating, which has made it seem like cheating is inevitable. Cheating is not inevitable, if you're with the right person.

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  • Emotionally cheating probably occurs within most couples. If you're talking to a beautiful person, sometimes you can't help but lust after them. Doesn't mean you don't care about the person you're with. Doesn't mean you should start making out with them because THAT you can control.

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  • False, it really doesn't have to be one or the other.

    True some people cheat, I have friends, who've made out with guys other than their boyfriend "to have fun". I'm guessing this is them "sowing their wild oats" in a way, but I really don't understand or feel the need to do that myself. I believe if both partners have these same views on cheating, then no, they will not cheat on each other.

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    • yeah, this is exactly why I'm starting to believe it's less painful if I just go into with the mindset that I'll be cheating, because she'll eventually try to "sow her wild oats" anyways. Faithful partners seem to be a minority group these days.

    • Well don't date immature girls then. And that has nothing to do with age.

  • False...mr/ mrs right is out there you just gotta find em.maybe you're lookin in the wrong places Or something.not everybody is a cheater.

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    • I'm sure there's one person out there who wouldn't, but you'd have to be cheated on constantly whilst combing through all the cheaters to find it.

  • I've sadly seen a lot of the same, but I believe this assumption is false because I still think there are good people out there who are faithful and loving to their partners and vice versa, even if they are harder to come by. I hope the person I marry will be among the faithful, but I'm always scared that I'll get fooled somehow because with my personal experience, I've been cheated on (physically or emotionally) by every guy I've dated. And I'm not proud of it, but yes I've cheated emotionally too.

    I really don't think that gives you the excuse to cheat on your future girlfriend or wife. You should be the change, not accept that it's okay to do because it seems to be the norm these days.

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    • How did you cheat emotionally? Like as far as what you did. It's hard to view it as false, even when your experiences have been that way. I don't view it as an excuse, honestly I don't like cheating and I never wanted to cheat on someone. But if they're going to cheat on me at least it won't hurt as much knowing I was doing it too and not being duped.

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    • I see, well that's COMPLETELY different.. Also when I said if he did it to you it wouldn't have hurt him as much. Asking to have a "break" is just asking for a temp pass to f*** around with other people. I thought he was this faithful guy, and since he didn't give you attn you cheated on him. I meant if he cheated as well it probably wouldn't have hurt as much. But that isn't the case. I know it's a bad mentality, I just can't accept the fact that there will most likely be emotional cheating :\

    • Well I honestly don't think he was f---ing around with other people, talking to them maybe, but he wasn't the kind to do that. Never was. Basically, he wanted a temporary situation where he could get whatever he wanted from me but didn't actually have to take care of me because he was tired of the emotional stress.. I'm over it now obviously, but I still think you should be brave and take the risk to love someone. There are wonderful, loyal people out there, they're rare, but they exist.

  • I think its true with long term relationships if theu stop communication

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  • false, some people do know how to be faithfull

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  • False.

    There are faithful, loyal people out there. They may not be the ones YOU want, but they exist :-)

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  • D, Highly false

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  • False I've been in 3 serious relationships neither of us cheated on each other. But my very first boyfriend at the age of 15 did cheat on me

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    • Yeah that's super young. When you get 25 you realize those relationships really weren't relationships anyway

    • the 15 wasnt, but I was with one of the serious ones for 5 years, I kind of do believe that was a serious relationship even though I am 22

What Guys Said 11

  • Obviously false. I haven't had to murder anyone yet.

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  • No, not at all. There are plenty of cases that people don't cheat at all in a relationship. Sadly there are indeed a lot of cheaters out there, but it's not true that everyone cheats or gets cheated on in a relationship or ya... I wouldn't even say it's the majority.

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  • False...you IMO have a faulty sample of relationships.

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    • I wish I had a good sample. F***, or even a half decent one. The only thing I know is cheating in relationships. :\

  • I've never had a problem with cheating in my relationships, BUT I always make it clear from the very beginning that I don't tolerate it, and that it will mean the end of the relationship with no second chances. I don't cheat, and I don't pick partners who cheat, or tolerate that type of behavior at all.

    In most relationships where cheating happens, the relationship isn't healthy to begin with, but most people won't take the responsibility for their unhealthy relationships, and that's the bigger problem.

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  • You're just meeting bad people if you're finding cheating everywhere and have some attraction to it.

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    • I admit I was dating the wrong kind of girls before, but the fact that I see it in everyone elses experience around me. I've never once seen both partners in a relationship cheat, and when I thought I did, we find out one was cheated on.

    • I've seen plenty of cheat-free relationships.

  • If you added, "or both, or neither" then I'd agree with you.

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  • i disagree.

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  • So, would you say cheating is a natural thing?

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    • Indeed I do. Monogamy seems to be completely unnatural, and the evidence of infidelity points to it.

    • I couldn't agree more.

    • Yeah, I wish I wasn't raised to idolize monogamy. I wish I were groomed with the idea that we explore other people.

  • false... .:)

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  • it might jsut be where you live. some places have odd "culture/ behavior s" where I live it's very hard not to get some sort of roumor about you started. which is an odd behavior .

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  • Might have some truth to it...

    Basically everyone out there these days is too afraid to go after who they truly want, so most people settle for someone that's just good enough, and because they aren't completely happy, they wander elsewhere from time to time.

    That's my belief anyway. You're seriously lucky if you end up with the person you truly love.

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