MEN: Would you do this?

I'm female, 26, live in Syd/Aus, City professional. Met a guy - 24, Jehovahs Witness, from a country town via instagram. DISCLAIMER: I did not know he was a JW until he told me after moving.

He came to meet me after we talked for months by phone. He was a bit intense, but it was okay. He decided to move to be near me. He moved and signed a 9 month lease for his place. He is a barista (coffee maker) and seems unhappy with his work/life. He would call and text A LOT and then applied to work at a cafe across from me. It was too much - he also applied at places nearby. I pulled away once I realized how hardcore JW he was (his dad an Elder) and we broke up. He admitted he couldn't give me what I wanted/needed.

He's changed jobs 4 times since moving to my city. The other day, I saw him working at the street behind my work. I was on lunch and on the phone. It really freaked me out. Is this just co-incidence? Why leave the last 3 jobs? He has only been here 2-3months! Why work near me when he knows where I work and live and knows - even when we were together, that I wasn't cool with it.
  • No way would I do that - that's creepy
    Vote A
  • Yeah if it was a good job
    Vote B
  • No - unless I wanted to be near her/see her
    Vote C
  • Yes - it's over - who cares where I work
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Guy

  • JV guys do have a long history of being stalkers; their religion tends to justify such behavior since they're always pressuring people to convert, visiting them, calling, giving them literature and gifts..

    I'd be a little worried if I were you, but I don't know what you can do about him unless he does something like follow you home,

    It sounds like he has trouble holding a job, so it may just be coincidence he happens to be working so near you. When you were together, he got to know other people in your neighborhood, and he's familiar with it; that probably helps working as a barista, knowing the neighborhood.

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    • Do they? Where is this documented?

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    • Well the only thing is, if he felt that way, he would call or message . There's been no contact since breakup - so, yeah should be coincidence - right?

    • i know a lot of witnesses and my mom is one and I haven't met a stalking one yet, I have met other guys that were stalkers but they werent witnesses anyway. I don't know this guy but since he was unhappy were he worked and had changed work place a lot before the break up then its not strange that he changed once more. if he started as a cleaner at her work place yea that would be creepy.

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What Guys Said 4

  • His employment history scares me.

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  • I'm a 25 year old pupil within the organization and as far as I know, while it isn't necessarily forbidden, witnesses are advised against seeing people outside the organization due to emotional and spiritual risks. On the other hand, there do exist witnesses dating people of different faiths. We're all human here.

    That being said, perhaps maybe he took the job nearest to you because he still values your company, what ever the relationship may be. After all, you did mention his habit of calling/texting you. He must have SOME feelings for you left in him, right? However, there may also be other factors as to why he's there. It all depends on how much he speaks to you (if at all).

    Other than that, Jehovah's Witnesses are generally clean and modest people. Still, you should watch your own in case his behavior turns out to be obsessive.

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    • No we have had no contact since the break-up. So I really do hope it is purely co-incidence.

  • That is NOT normal. He sounds unhinged.

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    • It does give me the creeps. But hopefully it's just a co-incidence and hopefully he will be onto job number 5 soon!

  • You need to be careful that's creepy

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What Girls Said 3

  • There is creeps in any religion. But I don't think you have to worry, I don't think he is a psycho because you said he was unhappy with his work, and people that are unhappy with their jobs tend to change jobs alot. And it seemed like he agreed on the reason to end the relationship.

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    • This is true. I just have to avoid that area. I don't like seeing him to be honest. Makes me uncomfortable. I just feel he's a few screws loose. And yeah it may not be intentional but it still doesn't make me feel safe.

  • JW are not supposed to date anyone outside of their religion, that's their own rules. Sounds like he was trying to get out from under the religion, but it's all he's ever known and he latched on to you hoping you could be his new way of life. He's not emotionally mature, or he's mentally unhealthy. Either way, he's not safe for you to be around.

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    • It's not a rule at all. A Jehovah's witness are allowed to marry a Muslim, Buddhist, atheist ect.

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    • also told me that it was OK to date people of other religions, but that I would never become a "true" witness and that it was strongly frowned upon and that I shouldn't do it. But it seems that the KH's that my friend and that boy I liked both attend do not allow mixing of religions. It's just silly IMO.

    • I don't disagree hun!

  • He needs a friend? Someone, he can connect with outside away from his religion.

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