What's going through her mind?

me and a girl started dating a couple months ago and a week ago we were sleeping together and I had a seizure that I think kinda scared her. I told her I was epileptic from the start and she didn't care at all. She has thyroid and ovarian cancer and I don't care at all about it she's too wonderful for me to care. She'd constantly tell me I was amazing and where had I been her whole life with every new thing she learned about me. Well we had a conversation by text a week ago where she was crying because she also found out her dad has 3 months tops to live :( Well it eventually lead to her sending me this "Rhys your really really cool and I enjoy being around you but with all this stuff going on I'm scared to enter a relationship but I don't know I'm just list and I don't want to hurt anyone and I feel like a horrible person and whatever happens I don't want to lose you as a friend. I'm so mixed up". Well I really like this girl and had some meaningful times with her. It would hurt to be just her friend :( I'd be lying to her and myself. Well I told her I was really sorry and explained that and broke contact pretty soon after. I don't know I'm kinda understanding what's running through her mind but I'm unhappy too. What do you think is going through her mind? Would it be legit for a girl to do that? Do you think once she gets things figured out she'll want me back? And if so should I give it another shot? We connected so well until now and then it just instantly dropped, even that she was still initiating contact after she dumped me keeping me updated on what she was doing. I still like her a lot and I don't quite know what's best to do for us :(
Updates:
Oh and if you were thinking about mentioning something about my gun pic yeah she's a GUN FANATIC! so that isn't at all a factor in this

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Would say with the intense emotion of her dad suddenly being close to dying she has no space in her mind or heart to focus on romance right now. She may be numb and/or needing to concentrate solely on these last few months with her father.

    I can imagine how hard it is for you to do this, but can you put aside your feelings for a bit and do what will help her - actively be her friend, don't ask for anything more. If you can support her selflessly it will show her how much you care, and there's a good chance her feelings for you will resurface in a few months' time.

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    • I really do care about her alot... It's just every friendship I've had with an ex in the past turned out horrid and hurtful to both of us, being "friend zoned" is scary. So please understand. I mean if there's a good chance doing what you say will put us back together due to the situation yeah I would. But what should I say? Should I let things cool off a little first like maybe another week? Or contact her now? I'm mixed up now just like her...

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What Girls Said 6

  • For now, Just be a friend that she can lean on, Tell her that she doesn't have to push you away, Your here for her and regardless will always be. She probably needs reassurance and comfort. Its easier to push people away when someones dying because the fear of losing another person.

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    • I really do care about her alot... It's just every friendship I've had with an ex in the past turned out horrid and hurtful to both of us, being "friend zoned" is scary. So please understand. I mean if there's a good chance doing what you say will put us back together due to the situation yeah I would. But what should I say? Should I let things cool off a little first like maybe another week? Or contact her now? I'm mixed up now just like her...

    • I can tell :)and just call her! Tell her you love and miss her and your here if she needs you. Ask her how everything is.

    • I dooo But I would also like to know how it could really even be a friendship? What do I do when we share that emotional eye contact or attraction and all? Cause those feelings we shared will just sit and linger and me, her, or both of us would be faking they aren't. It's really hard cause I hate being fake :/ I've never had a breakup due to such severe reasons that are a bit more understood. my mind is all over the place right now I need help :(

  • If I knew that my dad was going to die in a few months I'd drop everything to be with him for those last times.

    I understand why she'd then want to put a relationship on hold / break up with a guy as a relationship is very time consuming and her father would be her main focus.

    So yes, in my opinion, she'll eventually want you back but itll not be for around 5 months.

    The best thing you can do right now is be there for her.

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    • I really do care about her alot... It's just every friendship I've had with an ex in the past turned out horrid and hurtful to both of us, being "friend zoned" is scary. So please understand. I mean if there's a good chance doing what you say will put us back together due to the situation yeah I would. But what should I say? Should I let things cool off a little first like maybe another week? Or contact her now? I'm mixed up now just like her...

  • Time will only tell...give it a few months. It must be tough with things she's going through right now-with her father dying and things like that, I can understand how that and having a relationship on top of other things can be stressful. If you really love her just be understanding and comforting and much as you can-the fact that she still keeps in contact with you is a good sign. Good luck :)

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    • I really do care about her alot... It's just every friendship I've had with an ex in the past turned out horrid and hurtful to both of us, being "friend zoned" is scary. So please understand. I mean if there's a good chance doing what you say will put us back together due to the situation yeah I would. But what should I say? Should I let things cool off a little first like maybe another week? Or contact her now? I'm mixed up now just like her...

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    • Oh that's messed up! I hope you cleared all of the lies up with your girl and kick that backstabbing friend to the curb!

    • I did but she's mad I didn't contact her for a week and they were talking the whole time. He got really shady yesterday and started being a d*** and I don't put up with sh*t from people and chewed his ass eye to eye straight to his face. You wanna know what kinda man he's like? He didn't say anything after, zipped off in his car and then responded behind the safety of his texting. Dam p****. I would have beat his ass right there but I know he'd rat and I'd lose my permit to carry a handgun. Ugh Fck

  • First off she didn't really dumped you, she just have a lot on her hands to juggle and she can't afford to hurt you, I think if you truly love her you should just stay by her side, let her know you support BUT make sure she knows that you are waiting, ALSO let her know that you don't want to be just friends make sure she knows these things but tell her that you are in no rush when things fall into place and that you both have the right time that will be the time that you give your relationship a shot!

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  • If I were in that situation, I'd just want to slow down to get everything else in order in my life first. Adding a relationship to all that is just too much for some people - they already feel like they don't have any control over their lives, and it may be scary to have to put so much work into a relationship that you don't want to lose control of on top of it. I really do understand where she's coming from. She just needs a shoulder to support her and to cry on. If she's really making an effort to still be friends, that tells me that she's still interested in you but just needs a friend more than a boyfriend right now.

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  • Just be there for her, also when her dad does die show up for the funeral regardless if you are on speaking terms or not it will mean A LOT to her I'm telling you! Because she will know that you can be there through the good and the bad with her. Just be a good friend and someone to lean on.

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