Do divorced women have more realistic expectations?

Do women who have been divorced before have more realistic expectations in their future relationships? Instead of expecting to have a fairytale life, wouldn't they know that it's not always going to be perfect compared to someone who hasn't been married.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sure, I guess they become more realistic and open, it all depends on the woman. I've seen different kind of women act totally different after a divorce.

    The ones I have witnessed are:

    -depressed taken back and doesn't want anything to do with men ever again, I think she also turned lesbian ( aunt of mine )

    -the I'm still young and gonna live life to the fullest, they go to clubs and meet new people and become very out going. ( potential cougars )

    -I don't trust any men ever again type, but marries again within a year. Divorces pretty fast too, these go through so many marriages.

    -I can't live without a man and need someone in my life ( desperate women )

    -The next man has to prove himself he is so worthy of me that our relationship will be like a rock ( these are the single for life ladies, another aunt of mine )

    Honestly, I think these types goes for men too. Though most of the guys I know, are in a stable relationship, only one of my friends I can portray as a loose cannon and just keeps sleeping around with any girl he can get. We've deemed him as a lost cause and will probably never grow up.

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What Girls Said 12

  • Yes you're right. I am divorced a long time ago now thank god. I do not have fairytale expectations. I know long term relationships are hard work and I am fine about it. I don't mind the hard work but only if the person is worth it. Still yet to meet!

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  • I think you answered your own question. I'm married and pray I divorce one day lol. If I ever get into another relationship my tolerance level will be def shorter and yes no fairytale story expectations.

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  • I agree in a level. many family friends and both men and women are happier in new relationships after they divorced. I think their relationships are healthier

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  • I think they probably know what to expect more now that they've been through some tough times, but hopefully you can show them that you are better than their ex- husbands

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  • I have never married or divorced but GF's have. This is one area where experiences wake you up to the real world.

    Yes.

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  • They should. Doesn't mean they always do. Lol

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  • I guess so, since they've been through it already

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  • By realistic do you mean she becomes a milf then most likely yes!

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  • They're more jaded and more careful

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  • No I don't think so

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  • Hm... I think my expectations are bigger now.

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  • Sure, but that may also be because they are more desperate too, or they could be bitter from the divorce. Or they could be a great pick for a wife! I wouldn't judge all non-divorced women as having unrealistically high standards though. So many girls settle for bottom of the barrel. I think it's important to keep in mind that women naturally are better equipped for relationships, monogamy, and the maturity that comes with that sooner. Men trail a little behind in that department. So while guys are getting upset and thinking we all have outrageous standards, maybe it's time to consider how much she is offering, and what you're offering in comparison (and how those things would tie in for a good long-term relationship). She's often not asking for that much.

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What Guys Said 10

  • Some do some don't. Some realize they don't want to get married again and some go and get divorced again. Others don't get over their ex-husband and rant about him like a typical ex-boyfriend.

    Women typically have over-the-top expectations anyway so I don't see how they could get anymore unrealistic after a divorce.

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  • I contend that anyone, man or woman, who has unrealistic expectations is more likely to end up divorced, therefor those with unrealistic expectations will make up a higher percentage of divorcees.

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  • Divorce children typically have children. That alone makes them realistic.

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  • Not necessarily. Traumatic experiences don't necessarily make you wiser..just damaged, sometimes. They can't relate to new people because they are in fear of the same outcome as before, sometimes. Or, they carry too much bitterness and resentment, and any new person is going to be target of all her negative emotional fixations.

    SOME divorced women, as you suggest, do have more realistic expectations and don't get angry when their partner or their situation isn't what they read about in fairly tales.l

    Some divorcees though, are so 'realistic' they'll never trust a man again, and will always assume he's not any better than their ex.

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  • Hi, for some people, to be loved sincerely can be lived as a fairytale.(replace people with what you want)

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  • I doubt it.

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  • They say a large percentage of second marriages also end up in divorce. So, go figure!

    Having said that, I've had this relationship with a divorced woman. She was exceptional. Never in my life was I treated so well, felt wanted by a woman, and not treated as a beggar-for-sex (as most young, pretty and ruling-the-world women tend to do).

    If we fought, she would be the first to make up. She would be most forgiving and tolerant. She made it clear that she valued the relationship. Most importantly, she never ever said no to sex! It was great for my sexual and general confidence.

    We split for other reasons. But are still friends and I value the relationship had with her.

    I think divorced women feel the sting of loneliness and realize how much they have to lose if they're not careful. Maybe the same is true for divorced guys too, not sure.

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  • Divorced women usually expect more.

    Heck, one of the biggest reasons women divorce, bigger than abuse or adultery, is they think they can get a better guy, or they're just bored, and want to be free from marriage.

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  • It depends a lot on why she got divorced.

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  • My sister is twiced divorce. She is very realistic (thinks of things like money, goals, money, similar interests, money, how to manage separate families, money, how to balance time and careers into the marriage, money, and more money).

    She still sucks at relationships though, and if she ever marries again, will probably get divorced again. She won't starve though.

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    • Remember the words of Morpheus he told of a waking Neo? " Welcome to the real world " lmao

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