Boyfriend Wants to Take a Break Before Marrying Me?

My boyfriend and I have been dating a little over a year and a half now and in the past few months have started seriously talking about a future together. We have no intention for anything major to happen immediately-- we want to move in together in a year, get engaged soon after that, and then married a year or so after that. He has told me straight out that he wants to marry me and will say things like "our kids" and "when we retire;" however, he recently told me that he will want to take a break before getting engaged.

This is not because we are having any problems in our relationship. We have had very few and very minor disagreements. Instead, it is something he decided even before we started dating. He thinks it's a good idea for couples to take a break and date other people in order to be certain they want to marry each other. I have never heard of this in the case of couples who are already very happy together.

I am already certain I want to marry him and his behavior indicates the same. He can't explain to me what he thinks taking a break would accomplish but I am fairly certain that if we took a break either a) he would find someone else or b) I would go so crazy from the stress/ heartbreak of it that I would break up with him. The mere thought of taking a break is very upsetting to me, which he knows, but I'm afraid that if I convinced him not to do it he would grow to resent me for it.

Has anyone ever heard of happy couples taking a break "just to make sure?" Or could anyone give me some insight into why he thinks this is necessary since, as a pre-planned thing, it doesn't seem to be cold feet or feeling too suffocated?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that's a really odd thing for him to say/want.

    If you truly want to spend your entire life with someone then you should not require dating others to ensure it's right. You should be 100% committed to that person already before even discussing marriage.

    If he wants "a break" do it right now before you get more involved. If you're not comfortable with it and he still wants it you better break up and find someone else.


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What Guys Said 1

  • No, screw that. You might as well break up with him. Seriously, all he wants to do is find other people so he can have sex and do all this without guilt. It's bullshit. Heck, I'm pretty sure he won't even come back after he does, and even if he does, do you really want a guy like him back after he's essentially just asked you for permission to go out and cheat?

    I seriously suggest you either break up with him now, or tell him that it's no break or no marriage. Because seriously, this whole thing will just tear you apart. This will not end well. This will NOT get better.


What Girls Said 1

  • You make sure before by dating people and finally find the right one, the one you want to marry.

    So unless you both never dated anyone else before one another, I don't see the point of your boyfriend.

    To me it sounds like the best idea to break you up.


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