Do you have problems accepting what has happened and moving on?

A friend was venting to me and I love her to death... but well... its same sh...stuff different day lol. I thought I would ask this question. Honestly, are you the type of person who has many regrets and cannot accept things are in the past to move on in life? Do you dwell on things you cannot change?

I'll admit I'm human and there are a couple of things I will regret but I don't find myself thinking about them at all. Very rarely I will and its a sad moment but I don't spend a lot of time being upset about it like a lot of people I know.

What about you?
  • I do have regrets and I am always thinking about them, I cannot help it.
    Vote A
  • I do have regrets but I rarely think about them.
    Vote B
  • I honestly don't have any regrets and my past doesn't cross my mind.
    Vote C
  • It depends on how much I regret something/Other (Please explain more in an answer).
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I try very hard to accept and surrender, but I do dwell on things I can't change. I have a hard time letting go when I feel truly wronged... especially if it's never made right.

    I often think of my regrets, probably more than most people realize. I'm consumed with regret most days. I guess because I genuinely regret *most* of my life. I use things like movies or books to distract myself from feeling overwhelmed, and it works pretty well as a temporary relief. If I find myself bothering people with my feelings of regret, I step back and try to stop being such a downer.

    I move on because I don't have a choice... and that's the whole truth, haha!

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    • Thanks for BA :-)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • Only if its happened recently. like a break up then its difficult to move on, of course. but otherwise its not so hard for me. but of course I have those moments where I randomly think of something in my past I'm not happy about and I dwell on it for just a moment. but then it passes and I move on.

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  • Latest thing for me has been a break up. Were together 7 years and then we go live abroad for a year and during that time she falls out of love with me. Nothing I did, nothing I can do. I've grown a lot since (4 months now), but at times (like tonight) I can't help but feel how much I miss her.

    Its hard not to dwell on the past. On a normal day I can get through by keeping busy and focusing on me, but not always. I think we all have this at some point. Whether from a relationship, or something all on our own.

    I guess we just power through. Cry when we need to, celebrate when we can, but try to move on. Sometimes moving forward, leads us back where we were, but sometimes it can't and we just go forward. Whatever that means.

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  • I think that's just human nature. It shows that you actually cared about that moment and in some ways you have to be ignorant and move on. It's nice to look back at good times but you can't focus on them.

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  • Pretty much what Sparrow said, except I've stopped trying to accept and surrender. I've realized I can't and just have to deal with it.

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  • I can never let things go... kinda annoying...

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  • "No retreat, No Regrets" :)

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  • I always have trouble before but now I accept it as just a normal happening

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What Girls Said 9

  • If I have done something that I simply just can't change, and all that I can do is reflect, then that is what I do. I find myself thinking and even writing down reflections so that I can analyze my past and understand myself more, since I find that I am a very complicated person. At times being in self-pitying moments help but getting back to reality is important, and sometimes hard, since my thoughts usually engulf me and depression is threateningly overwhelming. That is just me :/

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  • As for now, I am constantly thinking about why it went wrong because I never got an answer.

    In situations like these I find it very hard to move on. However if I know what the problem was or where I'm at, I can move on and stop obsessing over the matter.

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  • I only dwell when I don't have the chance to do somethign right away. like if I have to wait a day or so, if not then I would just ignore the problem and let it go as it may.

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  • Right after something happens I will regret it heavily. But the next day I will barely even think about it. I guess regret is just a spur of the moment thing for me.

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  • no, I have regrets but I move on

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  • i use to

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  • I use to do I move op maybe to fast

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  • You just have to let it go and let it be your life lesson, accept it and move on.

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  • There's one thing I regret (sort of). It was a really heart-wrenching experience for me, but I recognize that in the scheme of things: things didn't work out badly at all and there's nothing I can do to fix it, so I don't make any physical effort that way. However, my thoughts wander back to it more often than I'd like to admit - at least once every day, even though it happened over 3 years ago. I have the feeling, unless I suffer some memory-wiping accident, I will probably think about it pretty frequently even until the day I die lol. It's not logical. It's not rational, but I've gotten to the point where it's not hurting me in any way - thus, I don't worry about the fact that I still worry about it sometimes.

    Haha I feel for your friend. I did the same thing to my friends as she's doing to you :P It's not good, and not fun to be her friend right now, but trust me: she appreciates it. Hopefully, she'll eventually get to the point where she recognizes she's pushing people away by publicly obsessing about whatever it is.

    It's hard to be the friend when you don't understand. Even if this seems like a minor incident in the scheme of things and your friend seems completely bonkers for obsessing over it so much, be kind...because it's hard to go through what she's going though. Be patient. Stop talking to her as frequently as you much (even tell her this plan), but still support her. tell her you love her and want the best for her, but think to keep your sanity, you just can't keep talking about it anymore. Hopefully she'll take the hint.

    Her heart broke. It may not be for a reason you can understand, because often this happens for random illogical reasons...but it did, and it's excruciatingly painful. You won't understand until (if) you ever have your heart broken to that degree. Some people never do. BUT the one good thing is: if she's smart, she will learn from this whole experience and be MUCH stronger and resilient, because of it. Give her some time. She'll be a better friend than she was before if you are firm with what you'll tolerate but don't abandon her :)

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