How long is too long to wait before moving on?

There's this girl I've been seeing for just over a month now. We have gone out on dates almost every single day, except for Father's Day. She's slept over my house six times already, but we haven't done anything. I definitely don't want to push the issue, but suffice to say I'm not exactly feeling too great about the fact that we haven't had sex yet. I mean, after a month, you're either into me or you're not, right?

It's not that complicated, you either find me attractive or you don't. I either turn you on or I don't do it for you. At what point do I just say **** it and shake off this feeling of being unwanted? I don't want to be that guy that's just a nice guy to be in a relationship with, but a girl has to occasionally have sex with from time to time in order to keep that relationship going.

Guys, at what point do you just say **** it and move on?


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • its a month, if you like her you can wait.

    • no. that's not how it works. my liking her has no correlation to how willing I am to wait.

What Guys Said 1

  • I know this is going to sound emotionally "fluffy," but whenever you reach a point where you're starting to feel used, when you're starting to feel disrespected as a man, when you feel like you're giving her what's important to her as a woman but she's too focused on what's important to her to really consider what's important to you, when you get the feeling that "sex" is something she associates with negative or bad feelings, when you get the sense that she's artificially holding back, when you start questioning whether she wants you sexually, when you start feeling like she doesn't really find you attractive (despite what she may "tell" you), when you start feeling like you can't really turn her on, when you're not sure if you do or how you turn her on (as she claims you do), when you feel she's making excuses and not being completely honest about not having sex with you . . . it's time . . . to move on.

    You don't deserve to be put in that kind of situation. You don't deserve to have your own sense of identity, dignity, and self-esteem chipped away at or completely broken down just because this girl is confused or has her own personal issues with sex. I think you're doing the right thing by not pushing the issue. But that doesn't mean that she or any other woman on her behalf has a legitimate reason to argue that you SHOULD or you HAVE A MORAL OBLIGATION to stay with her and wait until she decides she's comfortable with this thing they call "sex."

    The two of you are just not compatible. You have no inhibitions or reservations when it comes to sex. She clearly has some inhibitions or reservations when it comes to sex. Maybe you both have different sex drives. Maybe you find her more attractive than she finds you. Maybe she turns you on more than you turn her on. Maybe sex is not as important to her as it is to you. Maybe you have the ability to consider what's important to her as a woman, but she doesn't really have the ability to stop thinking about herself and consider how you feel and what's important to you as a man. Who knows? Who cares? All that matters is that this is NOT how relationships are supposed to feel like.

    If you're feeling this way, then I think you've crossed that line where you should have moved on days ago.


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