Would you put up with this?

About a month back my boyfriend started an extra job just purely for the extra cash to save for a motorbike he has wanted for AGES. Since he has started he has put it before everything including me.. yes he has treated me to some dinners/lunches and bought me things but I really don't care about that sh*t. we barely ever spend time together now (only if I beg and get upset) cause he's always off delivering, so the times I am actually home, cause I work and study, he's always off somewhere else..

when ever I try and talk to him about it, he tells me, "we spend time with each other when we sleep".

which is funny cause sometimes he doesn't even make it home cause he stay out at a friends house to sleep cause he has a driving curfew..

i just don't know how to get it through to his head that I miss him and that I want to spend time with him.. I have told him that but he won't listen too me or doesn't care..

today is our one year and a half anniversary..

we were planning to have dinner (my shout) and for him to pick me up from college so I could get ready then we could go out..

he forgets to pick me up..

tells me he's not going to come back and pick me up (we live a 5-7minute drive away from my college)

tells me that he has to work tonight..

then goes go-carting... without me.. with no care in the world that its a special day for us and that I'm not with him..

Now I'm home alone..trying to study without having a mental breakdown and crying, thinking about moving out and worst of all thinking about my ex (who for our 1.5 years paid for our dinner and a bridge climb at sunset together (as a surprise)).. and thinking why the heck am I still with him hen he treats me like this...

What would you do...? I need advice.. am I over thinking? being unfair?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Try and build your own social life up. Go out, have fun without him. Just as he's doing.

    Also, if you're not happy, tell him, if he won't listen, leave him. You only live once, no point in being living it being unhappy.


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What Guys Said 2

  • How long does he need to work this job to get his bike? If it's 10years - time to move on. If it's another week, suck it up.

    If you want to shake him up a little, tell him you're bored at home alone and you're going to start going out - just as friends - with ex's or your gf's or whoever catches your attention.

    • well he's meant to be saving but keeps splurging on unnecessary things for himself and me. I just want him to save but he just simply doesn't listen too me..

      aka, he hasn't even started to save..

      hmm.. I just don't want to play mind games.. plus I don't even get time to go out with friends with college, studying and work..

    • OK. Have a conversation. Tell him that you're really bugged because he's never around so, starting at the next paycheque, he hands all the money from that job to you and you put it in a bank account that he can't touch. When it equals one bike, he quits.

      If he doesn't like that - time for you to find someone sane.

  • First off you have to ask yourself why you're with this guy? be honest with yourself. If he is trying to save up for something and he's taking an extra job to get to that goal, maybe you could try and find out what his plans are after her reaches that goal. Will he still keep the second job? maybe he'll give it up.

    Forgetting to pick you up and then going go carting is kind of childish and immature. One big question does come up, why is your ex paying for your dinners and a surprise bridge climb if you're with another guy?

    • no, my last boyfriend did that we him and I reached the 1.5 year mark..

      i am just starting to compare.. which is bad.. I know :/

What Girls Said 1

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