Me and my ex boyfriend have been on and off for 5 years. He ended things saying "he still loves me but he's not in-love with me anymore." Which is fine, however what he's doing now is just insanely confusing. He has a girlfriend who is 3 years younger than me and she publicly bashed me for no reason so I have every reason not to like her. He acts like I'm still his girlfriend even though we haven't been together for over a year and half. He still messages me asking who I've been with and if I'm seeing anyone and his jealousy is still the same as it was when he was actually my boyfriend. We were friends with benefits (my first mistake) until I found out the girl he was "seeing" was actually his girlfriend. So we stopped talking for a few months but we hangout at the same spots so it's almost impossible to avoid him. Now that we talk again, he asks to see me at least once a week, which usually ends up in a hookup. I know I am at fault for giving in, but it's extremely hard to deny someone you are still very in love with. When we meet up, it's the same as when we dated in the same kind of conversations we have and the way we laugh at each other it's just really weird. I feel sick to my stomach knowing he is cheating on his girlfriend continuously with me(even though I have a strong dislike for her) - from a guys' perspective, why does he keep cheating on his girlfriend and leading me on?
Confusion with an ex who has a girlfriend
What Guys Said 1
I have no idea why you're confused about this.
You were friends with benefits while he had a girlfriend before, he clearly still wants action on the side with you.
He's not leading you on. You're leading you on. You know what this is. You're casual sex on the side, and his girlfriends get the relationship benefits.
If you're okay with that... well, you're still kind of a twat for enabling him, but whatever. If you're NOT okay with this, then you need to cut contact with this guy completely, because you're clearly not able to move on into a healthy relationship with him around.1
What Girls Said 1
"she publicly bashed me for no reason so I have every reason not to like her"... Perhaps she did that because she knows or suspects that you sleep with her boyfriend?
This guy obviously has a bit of a sh*t personality and neither cares about you nor his girlfriend. He knows he could be with you if he wanted, but all he wants is the sex. From his girlfriend he wants a little more than just the sex.
You know he has a girlfriend, so I'm not sure why you feel he's leading you on? You're fully aware of how things are, that he does not want to be with you aside from once a week for sex. Are you hoping he'll eventually dump his girlfriend and want more from you than just casual sex? I'm afraid that isn't going to happen.0
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