Should I bring up something that happened 4 years ago?

so I finally met up again with the guy I couldn't stop thinking about for the past 4 years... but it was completely platonic.

back then he said I was the perfect girl for him, but due to a huge misunderstanding nothing ever happened between us even though I really liked him, and in the end he thought I chose his friend over him so things were kind of awkward between us.

when we met up again we were right back to talking (and agreeing!) on everything and it felt really comfortable, but he was SO reserved towards me - nice but completely unromatnic. I really wanted to know if he also thought about me these last years or thinks that we have unfinished business, but the conversation didn't go in that direction.

i'm considering asking him to hang out again and really need to know: should I bring it up to get closure? or is 4 years too late and he'll think I'm crazy for even bringing it up? especially cause we were never even together... just almost :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • I am a guy that was in somewhat of a similar situation and would love nothing more than the girl to contact me again, but I don't think she ever will. :(

    I just feel like I've done all I can do, and yes, years ago now, but it's not even worth it at this point for me to do anything.


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What Guys Said 3

  • it's never too late, and you should always go for closure. Not knowing is always worse than beng rejected, take my word for it...I've been denied closure by time, and mortality..not everyone lives to get old.

    • I'd want to know his feelings then...and his feelings now!

    • Yeah I brought it up and I'm so glad I did! Turns out he felt the same way I did :)

    • Usually feelings like those are shared by the other party!

      Good luck and remember me for best answer!

  • Well in my experience, he MIGHT be in that "careful mode," meaning that he might appear to have no romantic interest in you even though he probably does deep down, and because of what happened 4 years ago, he might feel that bringing up those feelings might jeopardize the relationship he has with you now.

    Is that how you feel as well?

    • Ahhh that's what I was thinking but I didn't want to sound like a crazy girl just making excuses for the guy lol. So that's a thing? Tell me more about this careful mode...

      I also didn't flirt with him but that's cause he didn't give me any signals at all so I didn't want to ruin it if he just thought of it as a friendly meeting after all these years.

    • If you still have feelings left for him, you might want to find out first whether he's single or not. Apart from that, if he's doing this careful-mode thing, it may play out to be like an endurance test until one of you spills the beans. On the other hand, If you two are really close friends, this will go on until you both are so comfortable with each other that you'll share everything without feeling awkward.

  • no use in beating a dead horse, right?


What Girls Said 1

  • I think you really should because its like a second chance to clear things up. Take the chance and do it speak to him about it all.This is obviously someone you've thought about and been curious about so go ahead.