Ex-gf still flirty, but doesn't even want to talk about getting back together?

chronological events bulleted

- girlfriend and I went out for 4 years. 3 great years, one year of a kind of unsure status of our relationship as we talked about kids - she already has 2 and wants no more while I wanted my own. There is also a significant age gap - she's 13 years older than me.

- we finally really separated almost a year ago as a guy who was closer to the dedicated father type showed interest in her. She also claimed it was good for me too that we separated, so I could find a younger girl to share my life with.

- the first couple months I tried getting her back, she said no, though claimed to be unsure how she truly feels. But felt it was best we stayed separated. She stopped dating the other guy and wanted to focus on being an independent woman, which I respect.

- we agreed to continue to be friends, given that her kids really love me and I do care for them, but also because her and I had such a strong bond, neither of us could stand not being in each others' lives.

- Since January, we'd see each other 1-3 times a month, usually just for family dinner or play time with her kids. Sometimes just the 2 of us shopping or getting lunch/food.

- One time, a few months ago, it was just us 2 alone at her house and I implied we should try to be intimate. She first said she was celibate. Then said she was not on the pill. Then finally said she values our friendship too much to risk anything.

- the other day, her and I went to an event with her coworkers (also where I used to work). We carpooled together and she was really flirty/touchy-feely on the way there. When we left, I suggested we watch a movie at my place. She said maybe, but probably not - it would be "awkward or too dangerous." I mentioned it again a few min later and she gave a definitive no. I asked if she wanted to talk about it. She said no. I told her she doesn't know what "it" is (I was trying imply "it" = rekindling our relationship, not just sex). She said whatever I wanted to talk about, it'd be best to not talk about. The rest of the drive was normal conversation stuff, as if nothing happened. Though at the end I joked "I know you hate me" and she replied "I don't hate you."

Her and I both know she is not one to easily express her feelings. She is very calloused, even before she was with me. She's one of the few girls/women I've ever seen NEVER SMILE for pictures. But she did say when we were together during the great times she was completely care-free and happy.

I suppose my question is simply, why would she start warming up and being flirty one day, only to shoot me down? Could it have just been a swing in emotions in one day?

I know I could just be more direct with her. But I don't want to put my emotions out there again. It has been almost a year since we separated.. While I am truly ready to see other women (pursued/dated others recently), she still holds such a special place in my heart. But this past event has me sad again...lol

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  • She's either bipolar or keeping you in line for a back up plan if she can't find anyone else. Just enough affection/attention to keep you on the hook, but not enough to seel the deal.

    If she wanted to be with you, you two would be together.

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