My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. Everything has been great, until the past few days. Things changed so suddenly.
We hardly ever fight, but Friday we got in a fight. But we made up later that night, he stayed over and he was acting all lovey-dovey and whatnot.
Saturday he left in the morning for his soccer game and I didn't see him all day, didn't really hear from him either. I ended up having to go to the ER that night and he was super sketchy about it... he didn't come with me, barely responded to my texts and just seemed to generally not be too concerned which really hurt me.
I confronted him the next day about how that really hurt me, and he said that he wasn't there for me "because it's too much to handle/he just doesn't think he can have a girlfriend right now".
we talked and he said that for him, ideally we would go back to the way things were before we were official - be best friends who hang out like every day, hook up all the time, and are there for each other, but he wouldn't be obligated to always include me/tell me everything. aka, he still wants me to be a huge part of his life but he doesn't want the responsibilities of a relationship.
I told him I can't do that - I can't go back to being friends. If we break up I don't want to keep contact. So we decided to take a week or two alone without talking to see how we feel about each other. We're not broken up yet, we're "on a break" - but we both promised not to see other people, etc. during this time.
He knows if we end up breaking up that I'll be gone completely, and the thought of that seemed to really upset him - he said he couldn't stand not staying best friends and talking to me every day.
What will he choose?! I just don't know what he'll decide he wants... I know what I want, which is all or nothing. He wants an in-between but I can't give him that.
In your honest opinion, what do you think he'll choose? He still cares about me and loves me... I'm so confused
Most Helpful Guy
Sadly, I think he'll choose what you said in your 4th and 5th paragraph. The reason being and I quote,
1) "because it's too much to handle/he just doesn't think he can have a girlfriend right now".
2) "but he wouldn't be obligated to always include me/tell me everything. aka, he still wants me to be a huge part of his life but he doesn't want the responsibilities of a relationship".
If he wanted you to be a huge part of his life he certainly wouldn't have told you these things nor needing nor wanting a 2-week break from you. He'd want to cement what you have going now.
Taking a break is a cowards way of not having to be direct with his girlfriend and tell her exactly how it is. A coward thinks that a two week break will cool things and you'll get the point without his actually having to tell you. Seldom does a break bring a couple back together, and if it does it's only for a very short time. When a guy gets all the goodies without a commitment (marriage) or responsibilities, a relationship eventually wears out or wears down whatever. Some can go on for quite long and other not so long. It works about like in real estate and I'm a Realtor. Some times a prospective buyer says they need to move into the house before closing ... like a week or two because they have to be out of where they are now living before they could move into their newly purchased home. So often they find things about the house/property they didn't notice before and then want to back out because of what they discovered... not defects, but whatever...neighbors, house might need painting, etc, and they weren't committed yet so they got cold feet. Too much sex and everything else before marriage does the same thing.
So right now your boyfriend has a chance to back out and that's what he's doing. He never told you that before because he respected your feelings, but his feelings were building up to where they reached the pressure point where they had to be released.
I truly hope that's not the case with you and your boyfriend. I do wish you well and maybe I'm wrong. Feel free to contact him some...maybe a love letter or by some other means besides texting but keep it short and to the point. Making sure there's no contact for two weeks won't be the answer by any means. By his response you'll know where it's headed for. But maybe down the road something could happen to bring you both back together. Good luck!0