Guys, what do I do after a huge fight and makeup session..?

Long story short, we've been together almost 8 months and get along great. But, in the last 2 months, we've had 2 pretty big fights. He got jealous, we fought and made up. I did something stupid (didn't cheat) we fought and made up again but he said some REALLY terribly hurtful things during the fight and basically broke up with me. He contacted me, we talked it out and he asked me back. It's been about 3 weeks and I still can't get over some of the things he said to me. I'm afraid if I bring up my feelings 3 weeks after the fact, it'll make things worse but I jst can't give 100% of myself to our relationship right now because I can't get this off my mind. Should I talk to him or just let it go and be glad he forgave me for doing what I did...?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Did he or did he not apologize for the hurtful things he said to you?

    If not, you should ask him to. Do not accept invalid attempts at externalization ("I said it because you set me off!"). While we all have a right to be angry, we do not have a right to lose control of ourselves in our anger. People often do. That's why they should say they're sorry when it happens.

    If he has already apologized, then why haven't you forgiven him yet?

    • Wow, great response. Well, you hit it exactly right on. He basically said, "I was just so mad, I don't even remember saying some of those things I was that mad." And my response was exactly what you said, "when I fight, I am so careful of the things I say because you can't take them back and you can't make the other person forget."

      He did apologize, multiple times but I feel like there is a lot of truth behind the things he said and I just can't shake it.

    • Thanks :) Well, you got your apology. You should let it go. Rmember, angry words are often designed to get under the skin, often striking close to various truisms or just twisting them a little. Try to believe the best in each other. :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • You need to bring it up. Apologise for the (didn't cheating) you did and explain that his words hurt you. Have an adult conversation.

    Otherwise you're dooming the relationship.

    • You don't feel like it's beating a dead horse or that it'll cause another fight or that hell be mad about it all over again. I'm just really bad about talking about stuff and NEVER do. Usually I hold everything in until I break and it never ends well. I'm really trying to be different with this guy and don't want to mess this up.

    • Well since you know that your usual course of action ends in failure, how can doing something different be any worse?

    • Agreed. Thank you

What Girls Said 1

  • just talk things through


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