Most Helpful Girl
I would be very apprehensive about dating someone who has a record for domestic abuse.
Here are some of the things that I'd consider:
1. Was he upfront and honest about it, or did I find out about it through other means? Or in the very least, if I did found out about it through other means, I'd want the first thing out of his mouth to be something along the lines of, "I was waiting for the right time to talk to you about that" (provided it was still very early into us seeing each other). Honesty is very important to me, and I wouldn't want to date someone who tried to hide something like that from me.
2. Is he willing to talk to me about it? You said that this guy refuses to talk about it. That would be a red flag to me. It's good that he feels ashamed about it, and I can understand it being hard to talk about, but I'd only consider dating him if he was willing to talk to me about it and ease my concerns.
3. Did he get professional help? I would only consider dating a guy who did.
4. How long ago was it? The closer to the present it is, the less likely I'd be to consider dating him.
5. What was the nature of it? I think there's a difference between, say, they were fighting, he slapped her, she called the police, and he never did it again... or if he caused significant injury to her, or if it was something that happened more than once.
If I did date him, I would be on high alert for any red flags and I would want to take things very slowly. Though, feeling like I needed to be on high alert might be enough for me to think its not worth it.
Anyway, this is all very hypothetical. I can't say for sure what I would do in that situation. I'm leaning toward no, but I suppose there may be a situation where I'd be willing to give the guy a cautious chance.