Am I a past-dweller?

I like to listen to 90s songs because they remind me of my childhood and teenage years, I tend to over-analyze things, I treasure memories and every disappointment changed me at least a little bit. I feel like I can't really move on from things. I have this need to find an answer as to why things happen or didn't happen. However, I'm also a rational person, who likes to use logic. I think maybe that's why I like to find the explanation to everything.

I also treasure nice memories I had with people and when things change, it hurts and it takes me a long time until I feel better again. But even then I can't say that I've "moved on". I just don't feel as bad anymore, but some of the hurt is always still there, even after a lot of years have gone by. I realized that when I hang out with my friends I often talk about past experiences, serious or not.

Am I someone who dwells in the past? If yes, on a scale of 1-10, how unattractive is it? (10 being really unattractive) What could I do to stop being like this? I'm not a dreamer, so I don't have big dreams and obsess over them or focus my actions on them. I don't want to be a big dreamer either. So what should I focus on? The present?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm like that to. It was worse before and it would make me depressed sometimes because I would justify the present by my past experiences, therefore sabotaging my self. It was preventing me from doing new things and taking risks. I just had to change my mindset and think positive. I think about the present and how the present will affect my future and that the past is already gone and does not influence the outcome of any new endeavors. Yes I still treasure my memories, good or bad because they made me who I am today but that's all they are now. Just memories. Feeling guilty for what you can't change won't help. If there's something unresolved in your past, remember there's nothing you can do to change the past. Now, you can make your choices and change your course in life so you make new memories.There's nothing wrong with thinking about the past but just remember not to live in the past.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I don't see a problem in reminiscing about past memories and experiences. However, dwelling there too much will hold you back. I think you need focus on the present and strive to create new memories you can cherish. I also think you are more likely to understand and answer the questions of your past by acting in the present so you can play out some of the notions you’ve thought about. If you get stuck in the past you will never find the answers you seek.

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  • Ye you are, however, of what you wrote, its only a few of the reasons that makes you so, being: You can't really move on from things, and that you seem to always talk about the past exeperiences you have had. As for how unatractive it is? like 3 or so usually, but in a relationship I would have to say 8

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  • I wish my memory was as good as yours. it's good to remember the past but don't let it run your life or in 10 years from now when you look at the past all you'll remember is you looking at the past.

    6/10. I like thinking about the past. I watch old cartoons and play retro games and stuff but I also live in the present while thinking about my future. you just need to add things you can do in the present maybe get a hobby or watch some modern shows. I reccomend The venture brothers, Doctor Who 2005 one.

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What Girls Said 3

  • yes, and I think its like a 6. just try to put your mind into where you are right now, and your immediate future.

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  • I don't think its unattractive. You just like to reminisce.

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  • yes, a little bit

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