Ultimately confusing Ex boyfriend ... Guys, please help

We were in a long distance relationship.That was wonderful. Then he walked away saying something like he doesn't know where it's going and he's not sure he will get what he wants from this relationship(and something about that the 'spark' is gone part).

He stayed in touch with me.I wasn't that 'excited' about it. Didn't ignore him though-answered his texts once in a while.

Like a month ago it got really close,because the only person that can help me now happens to be him. He jumped in ready to help and do whatever. I need a place to stay over- he gives me his bed,instead of a freaking couch,I need to get somewhere-he drives me, I fail a bit and he says-don't give up.

Whats with the all caring and soft and mushy and kissy and cuddly behavior? Behaves like in front of his friends, outside when we're together...i don't get it.

Then few days ago..felt like he got scared cause all of the sudden he popped up a question like 'where do I think this is going'. I said I'm not fooling around, but I don't expect anything from him. He said that is confusing(well yeah I can see why,but what am I supposed to say?I am serious,always was.) The conversation ended with 'then we shall see where this goes'. He's keeping his open window to search for new people.

I don't know if that is a self defense(I didn't quite answer the question if I still have feelings for him-wrong or right I don't know), cause he is a nice good guy, never kept in touch with his ex gfs (uhm so why is this happening) and doesn't go on sleeping with people. Sometimes says something so contradicting that it literally just makes my mind go dark.

Half of my problem is a scary terrifying ex girlfriend of his(well he broke with her 2 years before me), that was manipulative and well in few words an abusive person. So I get it,the fears that a person might have in front of such a huge title 'relationship'.

Wouldn't be a problem if I didn't care and loved the guy to death,but this whole situation is kind of very very very...first confusing,second a bit scary, third I have no idea what will happen next. How am I supposed to talk to him?...

Does anyone have any idea what is happening? Is he simply afraid?Or what the hell?

This is turning me inside and out...

Would appreciate guys opinions...can you please try to help me understand? Just please be nice.


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What Guys Said 2

  • long distance is hard and once that spark is gone it is hard to rekindle. He might be hesitant because of past relationships which is to be understood. When he asks a question that is important like where you think that the relationship is going its because its on his mind he is concerned about it. a relationship is like a shark, in order to survive they must be constantly moving forward. Same idea with a relationship you both have to feel that it is progressing toward something high and more important. if he feels like you don't care anymore or its not going anywhere he will feel the spark going away. past relationships tend to put a mark on future ones and the baggage from one to another is never good and its not fair when one partner has baggage and it sucks. you should try to talk to him about it and be patient.

    • yeah I know-long distance relationships are a hard type.

      What I know is that I am moving and I am moving to the same city he's in.Knowing that will it still be hard to rekindle?

      Alright.It concerns him.Well he does know I still have feelings(happened so that I kinda said 'yeah' to his question if I still have any feelings towards him). But I didn't ask him the same(had little time-why do people start serious conversations when you're in a hurry :( ), so I'm a bit in the dark about what he

    • about what he feels toward me.

      So I should try to talk about it?What he feels and the baggage problem?

      Should I mention that I do wanna get back together or better for that to wait?

      Being patient-thanks x)

      Appreciate your answer!It helps a lot.

  • You shouldn't talk to him at after all, he's your ex.


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