Young divorce and when to tell potential partners?

So I was married and divorced really young, it happens. This is obviously not something that you can hide from someone you might see yourself getting serious with so the question is:

At what point in the relationship do you tell the other person?

How do you bring the subject up and frame it best?

How do you respond if they react badly?

I still date fairly young women so this may not be something that had ever crossed their mind.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would bring it up after you have been seeing them for a little bit and you know things are going well. Communication is key, but dropping too much on them early on is not a good thing to do.

    I think if you decide to date the person, you should let them know before. Tell them that you want them to know so that they can make an informed decision about dating you.

    If they react badly, then that's rough for them. Divorce happens, it's a part of our society now, whether we want to acknowledge that or not. I would let her know why you two divorced, was it because of infidelity, incompatibility or something else?

    If once you tell them, they start getting upset. Let them know it's okay it if bothers them. It just shows you that the person obviously can't handle that situation and you two are not compatible.

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What Girls Said 2

  • you tell them when you first meet them,then its out in the open and not a surprise when you are in too deep

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  • tell your partners once you are serious about each other

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What Guys Said 4

  • If you're divorced, and the divorce is final, then you don't actually have any legal obstacle in your way in the event you want to get re-married. Not sure why you would, since you've already rushed towards the cheese without being mindful of the mouse-trap once - why would you repeat the same mistake twice? lol

    I think as long as you're 100% ready to tell a girl that you're dating if she asks you about your past relationships, then that's more than enough. Otherwise, I think it's actually a bit weird and excessive to be the one who brings it up without even being asked about it.

    As far as what you tell them? Tell them what happened. I dated this girl. We had a great relationship. We were both afraid of losing each other, so we would always try and do everything to make the other person happy and prefer wanting to stay with us. One day, we decided to get married. After that happened, she was no longer as afraid of losing me. So, her incentive to make me happy and have me prefer staying with her went away. She didn't care about doing things that made me unhappy. We started to resent each other. It reached the point where it didn't feel like we were with each other voluntarily anymore. It felt like we were stuck - forced to be together - as if we were trapped. We both wanted to escape. That's what divorce was - an escape from that marriage thing we agreed to enter into. An escape from our self-ruined self-sabotaged relationship.

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  • You tell them whenever they ask. Usually this will be early in dating. If she hasn't asked you about this by the time you both agree to become exclusive in the relationship, then you bring it up right then. For example, she asks about becoming exclusive...you tease her and say, you'll have to think about it. When you agree, just say, "hey since this hasn't been brought up yet, I want to let you know that I was married once before." Then you can fill in the details/explanation how you want.

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  • Tell them when you first meet them, always better to be open and honest from day one and keep it that way. We all have a past.

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  • Don't tell them on the first date. They don't need to know your life story (or past relationships) right away especially since the first date is basically a 'test' to see if there's any chance of it going forward.

    Usually after a couple of dates, the topic of past relationships will get brought up. That would be the time to do so. If after a few dates it hasn't, bring it up. Don't wait too long or the other person will get upset, even though it wouldn't be your fault. Just be subtle about it.

    If they like you, they won't react negatively. They'll understand and be mature about it. It will come with questions. Just be honest. Explain why it didn't work and say whether or not you and the ex are still on good terms or if you're even on speaking terms. If you still talk to the ex, they might have an issue but you'll need to confide in her that you have no desire in going back to her.

    If they react irrationally, explain the things I mentioned above. If they still don't understand, they might not be the best person to continue dating.

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