My boyfriend will open up about our relationship but rarely. If I try to talk to him and ask him what his opinion is he will give like one to six word answers and never go into detail. He says he is happy but I want him to express himself more. I talked to him about this and told him I am not forcing him to say or feel anything but I want him to feel comfortable telling me how our relationship is going if he is happy what he likes about me etc. He says he shuts down because of his past and I have told him so many times I am different and I'm not ever going to hurt him or cheat on him like the girls he has dated before. We say I love you before we leave anywhere or go to bed and we have been together for 1.5. years. He got me a claddagh ring 3 months after our one year anniversary so I know he is serious but I want to know how serious he is because he never talks in detail about us but once in a blue moon. We have talked about living together, getting married, kids he is all comfortable with talking about. He wants a future with me but why doesn't he ever talk about our relationship? Why do men shut down like this? I have been hurt in the past too but I'm not afraid anymore and I'm always talking and sharing my feelings about us with him but I feel he doesn't talk much back unless he is comfortable doing so. What can I do to make him open up to me more? Again I don't want to force him to do anything he isn't comfortable with doing either.
Most Helpful Guy
Most of us are taught from childhood to hide our emotions, especially negative ones like hurt, pain, embarrassment, and also the most positive one, love!
Then come the traumatic experiences of break ups and betrayals later in life, on top of that.
Is it any wonder we tend to be shut down, most of the time?
Your guy clearly has had both experiences, and while verbally you may agree to talk about your relationship, in reality it's hard for him in practice.
Try to take advantage of quiet moments to talk just a little about how you are feeling, and he will TRY to respond. Encourage him but don't pressure him to be tender or emotional very much, or he'll get scared and pull away in reaction to the pressure.
Try to get him to open up just a little at a time, and then go sit in his lap or something to show how much it means to you to hear him tell you his feelings. Reward him when he opens up, in other words.
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