Should I break up with him?

I've been with my fiance for 9 months and I love him but we're always fighting. I've changed so much since being with him, not for the better. I've become crazy jealous and insecure. I used to be quite a dominant person, like I wouldn't let anyone tell me what to do, but now I feel like I'm always pushed into a corner. I'm not allowed to talk about things he doesn't want to talk about, but he can talk about things I hate all the time. I'm not allowed to be unhappy without there being a reason, but I have to be extra nice whenever he's unhappy. He makes me cry every single day but I don't have the strength to break up with him. I blame myself for every single thing that's gone wrong in our relationship.. and he agrees with me. I'm fed up of hurting.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't understand how a girl can be with a guy for 9 months and love him when they're fighting all the time and he's making her cry every single day. That just doesn't make any sense to me. That's the total opposite of being happy. Plus you've changed from how you were before being with him to worst and you have to explain the reasons for your feelings while he gets a way scott-free. Let me say this. If anything is going to change in your relationship that makes it better it's going to have to be your changing or his changing. It won't happen by itself. Since he's turned you upside down and in a completely different direction, I'd say the sooner you leave him the better and forget trying to accommodating him. You are going to get blamed no matter what you do. Each person can only take care of themselves and change direction in their lives. No one else can do it for us. I'd hate to guess how and where you'll end up if you stay with him. I don't see where you guys have anything in common that can counter his onslaughts of differences. Leave while you still have you sanity. You've been in a stinky room that you've gotten used to. Once you're out into the fresh air, you'll wonder why you stayed in there as long as you did. I can see why you'd become insecure, but what ever makes you get crazy jealous. If you stay with him thinking it'll get better or that he'll change and start treating you better and with more respect. you haven't seen anything yet. A marriage could never survive this for more than a year or two unless you decide you love being in the designated corner he's put you in and are willing to stay there for as long as he keeps you there. If you're fed up with hurting, then it's time to bail out. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 5

  • You're unhappy, and he's treating you like some kind of slave girl. F***counseling, get out of this sh*tty relationship. There are tons of guys out there who won't restrain your personality, will embrace it and want to make you grown instead of trying to shove you into a cell.

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  • you sound so unhappy in this relationship that I don't honestly see much hope , I'd like to have something more positive to say to you but honestly what else is there to recomend . if you aren't happy at this stage in the relationship what makes you think its going to be any better if you get married ?

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  • Do you love him...or are you IN LOVE with him? How long have you dated? My guess is you have clearly lost interest in him...and or you need counseling yourself. Sounds like the problems begin and end with you and your issues...and may overflow into the relationship. You don't need to break up until you clearly understand why you're jelous, insecure, etc.

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  • Things are not looking good. They way you are talking about him it looks like his attitude is: "its me, me and me". There is a big line between "being compromising" and "being slave". Don't make sudden decisions and tell him : If I have duties in this relationship then I have rights as well.

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  • Uh, DUH! Your fiancĂ© is a total minge if you ask me. If you are in a relationship with ANY man and he manipulates you, makes you shut up and most importantly MAKES YOU CRY EVERYDAY you should leave his ass. ASAP.

    I don't even know how you could tolerate 9 months of that. Your relationship doesn't have "love" at all. Love is not something that brings you down, and no man that "loved" his girl would do those things to her.

    Just split different ways. Things can only get better if you leave him. I'm sorry to say this but If you don't you will be one of those girls who become alcoholics and have repetitive one night stands from all the abuse you suffer.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Am I the only one around here who things it's completely stupid to get engaged at 17 years old? After being together for 9 months? I mean seriously. Grow up. You'll be divorced in 3 years, sorry but it's the truth.

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  • please talk to someone about it. You two make such a nice couple.

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  • I'd say before you do anything big like breaking up with him, I would get marriage counseling. This type of counseling is definitely available to people who are engaged and it can really help. Your counselor may be able to help you through your problems and have a healthy relationship, or they may help you realize that being together just isn't going to work. Either way, have a grown-up, loving conversation with your fiance about counseling, and see what he thinks or if he wants to work through the problems.

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  • You should get counselling

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  • i don't think you should!

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  • yes, dump him. why would you let him treat you like that?

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  • just try some counceling or talking things through

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  • I disagree that counseling will help. You can't counsel a bad relationship into a good one. It sounds like you are in a bad relationship. Counseling can help you work through certain problems but you are beyond that. You will be divorced if you marry him. Anyone that gives me a thumbs down on this doesn't really understand the severity of your relationship problems as told by you. Breaking up is hard, but being unhappily married then divorced is harder. Take care of yourself and find someone who is a friend and who is good to you!

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