How do I make him see I didn't cheat? how can I salvage anything?

I was with someone for 8 yrs. We broke up over a year ago. We have 2 children together. I want to try and work things out. He flat out said no. and no fresh start. YET he buys me a necklace while he and the kids were on vacation. Talks to me in friendly conversations. Exes do not do this. We are civil anyways in front of the kids. No reason for him to go out of his way for me. He even had our kids make homemade cards for mother's day. I did the same for him for father's day. He did not do this last year for me. Please advise. Should I keep trying? Is he deliberately pushing me away with saying no because he wants to see if I've changed or something? Or because he actually means no. if so why buy me stuff? why go out of his way to be nice to me if he is still pissed.

Updates:
Cheating part: He thinks I cheated on him the whole 8 years we were together with this one particular guy. I had once, WHEN we were still very new to one another. Less than a year into dating. He said he forgave me but never let me forget it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • From what you say, I don't think the cheating has anything to do with this, but you never actually mentioned why you guys broke up...

    It could be he's just being kind to you because you're the mother of his children, and out of respect. No need to hate.

    You talk about the cheating thing as "when we were still very new to one another", like that's a good excuse or means it never happened. Still, think it'd be a really long shot for him to be testing you now, 2 children and 7 long years later...

    No one stops you from trying to get him back though, as long as you're both single and it doesn't affect the children negatively in case things go wrong...

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    • Well he isn't and neither am I, seeing other people that is. But when I asked him. He didn't answer me for 2 weeks THEN decides to tell me "no". So wouldn't that mean no means no? And just do my best to move on? I don't want to. But I can't make him change his mind.

    • It's like you're saying it yourself, no means no, and you can't change his mind.

      Maybe in the long run, when the kids grow up a bit more, and if you continue getting along and both single, you could try again, but for now it doesn't seem possible. Maybe that's the reason behind his decision.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Your title mentions cheating, but no mention of it in the body of your question. Soooo...what's the significance here? I feel like you're blushing over something that may be important.

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    • He thinks I cheated on him the whole 8 years we were together. I did in the very begining but he forgave me. it was about a year into the relationship. He thinks I cheated on him with this one guy in particular.

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    • If the actions are encouraging why did he flat out say "no" we can't work things out?

    • IDK

What Girls Said 3

  • you really cant

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  • you cant

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  • well how would you convince him of that if you actually did it, new or old you did it

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    • BUT he "forgave" me and we got back together. We lasted 8 yrs. I cheated on him about a year into the relationship. so basically lasted another 7 yrs.

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