she can't seem to make time for us. should i back off?

The Girl I have been dating is always so busy that I can hardly ever see her. (Although so definitely seems to hold back on her availability, she has three days a week off but will only tell me about one. And if we can't get together on that one she is OK with that.) At best once every 10 days but frequently once every 2 weeks or more. (And in between dates we don't talk at all and very little texting.) I have been doing everything I can to try to get time with her including changing my schedule to match hers. We have been dating for about 4 months and I am starting to feel like there isn't much point to continuing. We have a great time on every level when we are together but how can we develop a relationship when we never see each other or talk? Should I back off and let her come to me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Talk to her about it, tell her what you wrote here. Don't say you'll leave her if she doesn't change, just tell her about your concerns. Then leave it alone for a while and let her come to you.

    She's following the girls dating rule book but after 4 months, that's a bit excessive.

    • So in this rule book, what is her goal by not letting me see her? To see if I am persistent enough to keep trying?

    • That you have to work for her to make time for you. That's she's not on your beck and call, that she still has a life. But typically, after 4 months, if I'm free and don't have plans, I let the guy I'm seeing know. Basically yes, to see how persistent you are and by the sounds of it, you've more than proven that. So even I'm a bit confused :P Unless you aren't exclusive/official and she wanted you to make that move? Not sure to be honest.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Maybe she's assuming you guys are casual..

    I would start off by asking her which direction she see the relationship going..and move from there..good luck

  • talk to her, tell her that you are willing to work things out

  • talk to her about it

  • talk to her about it and tell her you are willing to give her some space.

    • That's the challenge at the moment, I want to tell her but it could be weeks till we see each other

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