He wants to break up but I don't! help!

We have been together for almost 5 months. And last weds he told me that he thinks he's not ready for a relationship and he can't keep lying to me or hurt me (he lied to me once and he always feels guilty about it) I know he's a good guy and this is not an excuse for him to see other girls. I know that our relationship has up and down but he said it's not supposed to be like this. He feels uncomfortable and he always worries if I'm going to be upset about what he does, I know that the big part of breaking up is my fault but he trying to say it's not. It's him that sucks in a relationship. and this is the longest serious relationship he ever had. he said it's hard for him to get in touch with his emotions and that why it's so hard for me to feel appreciated. we spent most of our time together I stay at his 5 days a week. he said thta he still wants me in his life because he has a good time when we are together but when it comes to relationship part it's stressing. I asked him to give us a chance because I don't think it's fair for me too when he thinks this relationship has a prob and we didn't discuss about it.

Although we tried to start hang out as friends just right after the break up I know its not working but I was still at his place. We laughed and joked like normal but the part that hurt me the most is I can't hold his hand or touch him like I always do, and he felt the same he said it's natural to hold your hand.

when I suggest him if there's any possible that we can try again he give me the sad look because he knows the answer is not going to be what I want to hear. he said the feeling is change but he still attracted to me. and have feeling for me.

now I'm back at my place. he said we never spent more than 3 days apart so maybe if we try then we would know exactly what we feel.

he said if he continue seeing me it's like he's lying to himself and me that this relationship is OK. but for me hanging out with him as friends is like lying to both of us that I'm OK with that too.

I know that you gonna suggest me to give us sometime apart and when I'm ready to be his friend then it will be, but the point is I'll be abroad for a year in two months and I want to spend all the happy and all the good time, make the most of it with him. because I know that we are so happy together and this is the first guy I ever say I love you. I know he still care about me alot. but in the last 2 days that we are not together he hasn't text me yet.

i told him before I leave that I hope that the happy time that we had together would fight anything against the relationship and wants me back. he said we will see. I need sometime to think and you too.

I'm going to his place tomorrow to get all my stuff though. What should I do? I know I shouldn't beg and plead but to show him that I'm OK would make he thinks that I'm OK with this and he would be happy because he hates seeing me upset.

I don't want to finish it this way!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It take s 2 to keep a relationship bud, if he doesn't want to stay then let him go. Forcing someone to be in a relationship with you even if they don't want to, would result in a catastrophic consequence. Just let him go, move on and you'll never know, someday he might come back.

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What Guys Said 1

  • nothing you can do I'm afraid, sometimes these things just don't work out

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What Girls Said 5

  • Let him go. Don't chase. There are times when its OK to chase, this isn't one of them. If he can't appreciate your presence make him appreciate your absence and if he doesn't then you got out early and should count yourself lucky. Give yourself some time & in the meanwhile he will have time to think too. If its meant to be it will be, if not you may be dodging a bullet,

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  • you can't do anything other than being yourslef and hope he changes his mind.

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  • if he breaks uo with you there's is nothing you can do about it

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  • yo can't do anything about it

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  • You can't have a relationship where one person doesn't want to be in it. He's made it clear he no longer wants to be in this relationship so you have to accept that. Maybe after some time apart he'll want to try again, but I wouldn't necessarily hold my breath waiting for that to happen.

    Also, you can never immediately be friends after a break up (barring some minor exceptions). You have to wait for some of that passion/hurt to subside before reconnecting even on the level of friends.

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