How do I fix the biggest mistake of my life?

Okay, I've heard enough about "move on" and "he isn't worth it" and "you'll find someone better" and "something was wrong if you broke up". I CAN'T move on, I DON'T WANT to move on, he IS worth it, there is NOBODY better, and yes, something was wrong: me. I have made the biggest mistake of my life: I took him for granted. I want to fix it. I want him back. I don't want anybody else but him. I never felt this way. I never let a guy into my heart. But he didn't need a permission, he just did it. I am in live with him for over a year now, and I don't want to move on, I don't want to get over him. He means everything to me. He so special. And I will do anything and give everything to be with him again. It was so perfect with him, but my pride didn't let me see it. I regret all my mistakes with him, and I want to fix this. I just don't know how...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sometimes we have to lose someone to see the error in our ways. Had you two not broken up, you never would have realized what you've come to know. Unfortunately, for the 'other' person, once the heart is hurt so many times by the same person, the love just goes away. Just like you said you couldn't help but let him into your heart, he may be too hurt to let you back into his. I had to break up with a guy for reasons like this, and he's told me that he never would have seen his wrong doing if I hadn't left him. He still wants me back and it's been 3 years, I could never give him my heart again though, it just went cold toward him. I will always love him but we cannot be. I am now engaged to a different man and very happy. So just keep working on yourself, and although you don't WANT to move on, it takes two to have a relationship and if he doesn't want it, you've left yourself no other choice. Work on improving yourself as a woman and figure out what it takes to keep a man happy in a relationship so you don't repeat the same mistakes with the next guy.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Be strong little girl. I know you can overcome this adversity. Believe me, you'll get stronger. (Please select this pep talk as the best answer.)

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  • I have three questions

    Why did he break up with you?

    Why did you take him for granted?

    How did you take him for granted?

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    • He broke up with me for no clear reason, he just said he doesn't love me as much as he used to.

      I don't know why I took him for granted, I was stupid.

      I can't explain what I did, I just know I wasn't okay, and I didn't know what I had untill it was gone...

  • There is no "fixing" it. I cannot speak for you and say "move on" and "there's something better" and I wont. I will say that you are young. You can either sit there and dwell on a "what if" fact, or get up and start again, without him for a while. Letting one person that you may or may not be in love with, derail your life for any amount of time, just seems frivolous after time passes. There is nothing that can be said to console you, you are the only one who knows how you feel. You do however have to keep moving forward. It is life, love is life, and both suck sometimes.

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  • Meh, live & you learn.

    At least next time you'll know how to treat someone who's good to you.

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  • you sound, dangerously obsessed. If a guy was saying all this, you bet your bottom dollar he would be labelled as creepy

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  • I am in your same shoes over a girl. It's been four years. Time doesn't heal all wounds. I want to try and mend this rift between so badly but I'm so scared. I think it's what I need to do though, simply give a peace offering. I have never lost a friend like I lost her, it just makes me so sad and depressed. Today is the most miserable I've felt in a while.

    I can empathize for you, and I hope you'll be OK, because I'm not so sure I am anymore. All the best and I wish you good luck. Just prove to him that you're there and ready for him and he should come right around if he liked you before. It's never too late.

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    • Well, I am definitely not OK, I am miserable and depressed, and I lost all my confidence. Wounds might heal, but memories remain and I don't think he will forgive me and give me another chance...

  • time heals all wounds. you'll get over it.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I too have been in somewhat similar shoes as you. I didn't take the guy for granted, but for whatever reason, he stopped feeling what he used to for me. I have loved him to one degree or another for going on 19 years now. We've been in & out of each others' lives several times. Recently we have reconnected as platonic friends again and I'm feeling the same stuff all over again. Luckily I've learned a few things in the past two decades so that I'm handling it better now.

    In the past, I didn't handle it well. I used to think the way you do - "I can't move on. I don't want to move on. There's nobody better."

    Well, it turns out I was mistaken in that last part. There is someone better, I just haven't met him yet. But the fact that the guy I love doesn't love me back proves that there is someone better. The best guy for you will want you just as much as you want him.

    What you need to do is focus on those specific qualities that you love about him. Stop focusing on how much you want him, miss him, need him. That avenue will get you no where but more of this misery you're going through.

    Ask yourself this question, do you want to continue to feel this anguish that you're experiencing right now? If you're enjoying this frustrated, unhappy emotional state, then keep doing what you've been doing. Don't change a thing. And you will continue to feel this way, and be without him and any other guy at all.

    But, if you want to feel better then what you have to do is change you, because you're never going to change him. You have to change what you're thinking about, change what you focus on. Focusing on the good stuff that you love about him is the way to go. But you have to stop there. You can't let yourself take that additional step to missing the good stuff that you don't have anymore. You have to stay in the place in your mind that makes you feel good. When you keep doing this long enough, then the right guy who IS better will magically appear.

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  • You need to tell him flat out how you feel. If he's a f***er about it, you need to not be weak and you need to walk away. And tell him in person, too. If he has NO feelings for you, don't beg, cry, or show weakness. YOu need to stand up, say "I deserve better, have a good summer." and show him you have respect for yourself. Because if a guy doesn't want you, you need to believe that you deserve a guy to be crazy for you.There's guys out there everywhere that would take you.

    I know as you're reading this, you're thinking "F*** that, I want him bla bla bla bullsh*t." Truth is, you haven't given yourself time to move on and you haven't found another guy. Bottom line, no matter what cheesy thing you say to prove that statement wrong, you will find someone, and someone who adores and treats you wonderfully.. and who won't become an a**hole ex. if you had another dude in your life you'd basically put your energy into someone who LOVES you, and won't reject you no matter what.

    I went through the same thing, wanting my ex back. He treated me like absolute sh*t and I was still blind to what he said and everyone said. The bottom line is that if he does not want you back now, he never ever will. IF when you meet with him IN PERSON and tell him how you feel, and you see it in his eyes or in his actions that he cares, then that's a sign to keep going and fight for him. You of all people know what it's like if he cares so if he shows he doesn't, move on and keep respect for yourself and walk away with pride. It will feel good to say f*** you to him and make HIM look like the weak one for once. Maybe you have to experience teh whole "I want him back" thing yourself to really give up, but if I can give you ANY advice, it is to move on now and find someone better rather than blind yourself from every guy who could make you feel a billion times more happy, respected, and wonderful, and special.

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    • He is not a sh*t or an a**hole, he still cares and understands. He just always says that we are only friends now, and I want more...

    • See? You're defending him. I don't care what you call him, maybe he's not a d***, but he does not want you. He does not want to be with you. That's it. That's all that there is, and if he does not want to be with you nothing will change his mind. You need to move on. That's all I can say, is keep your self respect and move on before it's too late and you make a fool of yourself. Coming on to him all the time and begging him to come back will only push him away. Find someone who wants you.

  • Why don't you tell him all this? And if he's still put off then he doesn't love you as much as you seem to love him.

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    • I tried to tell him. He doesn't love me.

    • Okay so maybe instead of begging you can show him what he's missing. Maybe he's just milking this and likes that you're so upset. You can pretend to move on and perhaps make him jealous?

  • Why don't you just admit your faults to him?

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  • well try to talk to him and tell him how you feel

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    • I tried he doesn't want me back he says we are just friends now... :(

  • just try to get over it

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