Not sure about this one, but here it goes. My fiance and I have been engaged for several months now and are in the midst of planning our wedding. The only thing, though, is that there are several things that she does that raises my eyebrow and make me wonder if it's just my insecurities or if I legitimately have a reason to be concerned.
I have been in relationships where I've been cheated on, taken advantage of, etc. and have taken time (years) to try to appreciate myself. Solo time is definitely a nice thing when it comes to figuring out what you want in life.
Moving on, I met my fiance online and instantly fell in love. Long story short, she's my best friend and I want to share all my experiences with her. So much so that when she moved across the country, I dropped everything to move with her.
She is a teacher and thus has free summers whereas because I switched jobs, I have a limited number of vacation days which are reserved for one vacation and travel back home for Christmas. Of course, this make things difficult when planning for vacations especially since she has more than I do. The summer, she decided to head home for 4 weeks after we had our week long vacation together, while I would be working. 4 weeks is a long time and I was really concerned about it, but didn't want to really say too much because it just didn't seem fair to her to want her to spend less time heading home (2 weeks) just so that I could enjoy our us time. Plus her being free during the summer would've opened up more time for us to do things without us worrying about both of us having to wake up in the morning (we're normally in bed before 9:30 every night). I tried dropping subtle hints (I know, direct communication is always the better choice) in saying that I wish she wouldn't go for so long, etc. But, of course that didn't work. Now it's just making me miserable that she's gone for so long. I try to put myself in her shoes, but all I keep coming back to is that all I'd want to do is spend my time with her and starting our lives together. I understand we're not married and couples need time apart to better grow together, but it just seems like a really long time to want to spend away from someone you're supposed to be spending the rest of your life with. I plan on voicing my unhappiness about the whole situation when she comes back (I would rather face-to-face).
Most Helpful Girl
My boyfriend and I are the exact same situation as yours, except were not engaged yet and I'm not planning on to visit my country for one month. But I'm very sure he will flip out if I say one month.. Lol
He goes his business trip quiet often and it usually takes one week.. And he can't even wait to see me and goes crazy during that time so I can understand how you feel.
On the other side, I do understand your fiancé too.. If you get married and have kids, she will barely have time to visit her family and friends. And I guess she wants to spend quality times with her loved ones before she gets married. We all know marriage will change your life lol
I know it is hard but let her enjoy her time there and you too enjoy your time here without her.
If you can't accept it, talk to her about it.. If my fiancé asked me to not stay there for so long, I would consider to come back maybe a week earlier at least..
Don't worry too much. Since I am in the same shoes as hers,I can tell you there's nothing you should worry that she's being inconsiderate. You are engaged. Why would you so worry about it instead talk to her directly and figure it out.0